First, I remove Frodo's Mithril shirt from him. With a deft twist, I wrap it arund the Balrog's horns, and attatch it to the back of the boat. I kick the balrog overboard.
Legolas goes next, but he sits on the mithril shirt. His cries of "Ai! Ai!" agitate the balrog, and between the steam and the balrog's thrashings, we get where we're going very quickly indeed. On the way, Tom sings loudly enough to drown out Legolas, so eight more people jump off the boat in desperation. But we tie one end of Sam's rope to the stern, and all the overboarders catch on. So they suffer only from steam-burns.
Come to think of it, that might get nasty. I hope it's a long rope, Sam.
Soo--- where are we going?
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...down to the water to see the elves dance and sing upon the midsummer's eve.
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