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Since this is not a discussion of the actual contents of the book, and answers are highly speculative, with great possibilities for humorous ideas, I'm moving this thread to the Mirth forum. Please continue there.
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'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth.. .'
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