Aragorn : I'd like some embedded reporters (preferably with camcorders)
when I'm fighting for Gondor as Thorongil so that twerp Denethor won't be able
to challenge my Return.
Arwen : Not much, Santa cutie. Just please give all of Arnor and Gondor
to Ari so daddy will FINALLY agree we can marry! Hey, I'm not getting any
younger, and I doubt Ari will last longer then a couple of hundred years. I
mean, can you hear that biological clock ticking? Oh yes, I'd also like
"a '54 convertible, light blue.
I'll wait up for you, Santa Baby.
So hurry down the chimney, tonight.
Think of all the fun I've missed.
Think of all the fellas I haven't kissed.
Next year I could be just as good.
So hurry down the chimney, tonight."
Gandalf : Please get Radagast a clock, WITH A WAKE-UP CALL!,
to remind him he wasn't sent to Middle-earth just to do a nature study.
Gollum : Nice master! Nice Santa! Poor Smeagol only wants to get his
own back. Don't listen to letters from the nassty, rude hobbit. And could I
have a good dental plan to get some nice, new, sharp teeth? And a map
showing where Thief Baggins lives, and recipes for preparing scrumptiously
delicious sushi, and a book called "The keys to successful power
negotiation with hobbits", and a nice, strong safe so that I won't lose or have stolen, ah, anything precious, and a deed to the land where you-know-what was
found, since all my poor relatives (yess, even Deagol
) are gone,
and, and, and..................