The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum - View Single Post - Why their were no women in the fellowship

Tuor of Gondolin · 09-08-2004, 11:00 AM

And now for something completely different.......

Well, since this forum says:
"Middle-earth Mirth Fun and friendly TOLKIEN and MIDDLE-EARTH topics that are more comical than informational."

How about, in the spirit of a past PBS tv special featuring an all-girl band
performing "Pretty Woman", an all-girl Fellowship of:

1---Lobelia (the ringbearer)
2---Rosie Cotton
3---Esmeralda Brandybuck
4---Farmer Maggot's wife
5---Goldberry (the wizardish one of this Fellowship)
(An, unconfirmed, rumor has it the list below is from a rejected version of LOTR, yet to be published by Christopher Tolkien).

As Faramir and Boromir are telling the Steward about their dreams and
arguing over who goes Ioreth buts in with some arcane observations about
dream interpretation, etc. Denethor says "Good grief! Not again." A lightbulb
goes on over the heads of Faramir and Denethor, and eventually (dimly) over
Boromir. So:
6---Ioreth. She naturally stops off in Edoras and can't keep her quest secret,
7---Eowyn says "Cool!"

and joins.
Meanwhile, utilizing PJ's esp concept of elf communication:
8---Galadriel finds out about the meeting, goes up and joins (like sonny is going
to turn her down?)
9---XenaArwen finds out what's happening, is worried about her Kermie (I
mean Aragorn) being picked on by Sauron, so, being a N.E.P. (Noldorin Elf Princess) she gets daddy to let her go along.

I guess I shouldn't go into detail about Ioreth being captured by Saruman's
orcs and Sauman telling Wormtongue "Put her on the rack! And if that
doesn't work she'll have to stay in the Comfy Chair until teatime."
"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" [maniacal laughter].

Okay, I suppose it's a good thing JRRT did revise his work a lot.
Although, say what you will, the above at least gets Ioreth out of the
Coronation scene.

09-08-2004, 11:00 AM	#16
Tuor of Gondolin Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Pennsylvania, WtR, passed Sarn Gebir: Above the rapids (1239 miles) BtR, passed Black Rider Stopping Place (31 miles) Posts: 1,548	And now for something completely different....... Well, since this forum says: "Middle-earth Mirth Fun and friendly TOLKIEN and MIDDLE-EARTH topics that are more comical than informational." How about, in the spirit of a past PBS tv special featuring an all-girl band performing "Pretty Woman", an all-girl Fellowship of: 1---Lobelia (the ringbearer) 2---Rosie Cotton 3---Esmeralda Brandybuck 4---Farmer Maggot's wife 5---Goldberry (the wizardish one of this Fellowship) (An, unconfirmed, rumor has it the list below is from a rejected version of LOTR, yet to be published by Christopher Tolkien). As Faramir and Boromir are telling the Steward about their dreams and arguing over who goes Ioreth buts in with some arcane observations about dream interpretation, etc. Denethor says "Good grief! Not again." A lightbulb goes on over the heads of Faramir and Denethor, and eventually (dimly) over Boromir. So: 6---Ioreth. She naturally stops off in Edoras and can't keep her quest secret, 7---Eowyn says "Cool!" and joins. Meanwhile, utilizing PJ's esp concept of elf communication: 8---Galadriel finds out about the meeting, goes up and joins (like sonny is going to turn her down?) 9---XenaArwen finds out what's happening, is worried about her Kermie (I mean Aragorn) being picked on by Sauron, so, being a N.E.P. (Noldorin Elf Princess) she gets daddy to let her go along. I guess I shouldn't go into detail about Ioreth being captured by Saruman's orcs and Sauman telling Wormtongue "Put her on the rack! And if that doesn't work she'll have to stay in the Comfy Chair until teatime." "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" [maniacal laughter]. Okay, I suppose it's a good thing JRRT did revise his work a lot. Although, say what you will, the above at least gets Ioreth out of the Coronation scene. __________________ Aure Entuluva! Last edited by Tuor of Gondolin; 09-08-2004 at 12:58 PM.