My thanks to Saucepan Man for the link to this most fascinating thread.
I wholeheartedly agree with Squatter’s view and don’t hope I’ll contribute much. Nevertheless here’s a couple of ideas.
Imho, Arwen’s decision was made for the sake of keeping an oath once given.
Quote:
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I will cleave to you, Dunadan, and turn from the Twilight
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That was Arwen’s choice on Cerin Amroth. So how could she remain after the man to whom she said this had been gone? Such a decision couldn’t be passive, she was following the path she had chosen.
Perhaps my following idea is too far-fetched and too human, but only after Aragorn’s death she understood the real bitterness of the Doom of Men she had chosen. When happy, we don’t tend to look far ahead. And in her elven past (three thousand years, right) she had got used to people living forever of dying ‘not forever’. And only losing her beloved did she fully realize what awaited her – or wasn’t able to realize, which made her more desperate. Could it be fear of the oncoming end as well, that quenched the light in her eyes? How long more would she last? In which way would she be reminded that the price must be paid? To my mind, Arwen’s seemingly hurried departure wasn’t passive submission to grief, but the second voluntary choice. She faced her doom with dignity, not playing for time or trying to get away. Btw, the book (I mean LotR) doesn’t mention anyone trying to stop her. Maybe her people were more understanding.