The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum - View Single Post

Meneltarmacil · 08-18-2004, 10:29 AM

*Somehow, Legolas manages to haul Aragorn and Gimli up to the top of the wall*

*Uruks start firing giant crossbow-things at the wall. One of them hits Peter Jackson as he's making a cameo appearance.*

PJ: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! You idiot! You weren't supposed to do that! How am I supposed to direct this (censored) thing when I'm DEAD?!!!

ARAGORN: Maybe you should make fewer cameo appearances.

PJ: AAAAAAAARRRGGGHH!!! *attacks Aragorn with huge battle axe*

ARAGORN: Shut up. *hits the director over the head*

PJ: *falls backward, unconscious, snapping rope attached to ladder*

URUKS ON LADDER: STUPID DIRECTORRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

URUK IN HAWAIIAN SHIRT: Cowabunga!!!

THEODEN: Aw, forget it. I think we're doomed. Yes, that's it! We're DOOMED! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!

*Theoden runs like a chicken. The others stupidly follow.*

ARAGORN: Um, why are we hiding in here waiting for the orcs to kill us?

THEODEN: Because it's absolutely hopeless, we're doomed, and I'm too chicken to do anything.

GAMLING: Exactly.

ARAGORN: Well, if we're all gonna die anyway, can't we at least ride out and run over a couple hundred orcs with some cool music playing in the background?

THEODEN: No, I'm too chicken to do that. WE'RE ALL DOOMED!!!

GIMLI: The sun is rising.

THEODEN: The sun is rising? The SUN is RISING? THE SUN IS RISING?! Well, that changes everything. Let's go. Gimli, the secret weapon, please.

ARAGORN: Secret weapon?

THEODEN: You'll see.

GAMLING: Here, I recommend you take these. *hands everybody some earplugs*

*Uruks break in. Gimli runs up to the top of the tower and finds a CD player wired to some HUUUUGE speakers. He turns it on*

*Uruks fall to the floor and die from the horror of hearing ELEVATOR MUSIC at ear-splitting decibel levels* (where's the evil smily when I really need it?)

*Theoden and Co. ride out and run over many of the remaining orcs, who die just as easily*

*Gandalf, Eomer, Rohirrim show up and ride down the hill*

GANDALF: Where did all these guys come from? You only had 20 or so.

EOMER: Must be a plot hole. Pay no attention.

GANDALF: Right. Got it.

RANDOM GUY: Aaaaaaagh! *horse trips over rock*

*his horse hits the rider in front of him, who crashes into the riders in front of him, etc., and everybody falls like dominoes, crashing into the orcs who in turn fall like dominoes*

OK, all we need to do for the rest of TTT are:
Treebeard discovering half the forest is missing
Ents trashing Isengard
Frodo and Sam at Osgiliath
Gandalf's "We're doomed" speech
Final scene with Frodo, Sam and Gollum in Ithilien

Then we're on to ROTK...

08-18-2004, 10:29 AM	#160
Meneltarmacil Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: The bottom of the ocean, discussing philosophy with a giant squid Posts: 2,254	More Helm's Deep mayhem... Somehow, Legolas manages to haul Aragorn and Gimli up to the top of the wall Uruks start firing giant crossbow-things at the wall. One of them hits Peter Jackson as he's making a cameo appearance. PJ: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! You idiot! You weren't supposed to do that! How am I supposed to direct this (censored) thing when I'm DEAD?!!! ARAGORN: Maybe you should make fewer cameo appearances. PJ: AAAAAAAARRRGGGHH!!! attacks Aragorn with huge battle axe ARAGORN: Shut up. hits the director over the head PJ: falls backward, unconscious, snapping rope attached to ladder URUKS ON LADDER: STUPID DIRECTORRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... URUK IN HAWAIIAN SHIRT: Cowabunga!!! THEODEN: Aw, forget it. I think we're doomed. Yes, that's it! We're DOOMED! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! Theoden runs like a chicken. The others stupidly follow. ARAGORN: Um, why are we hiding in here waiting for the orcs to kill us? THEODEN: Because it's absolutely hopeless, we're doomed, and I'm too chicken to do anything. GAMLING: Exactly. ARAGORN: Well, if we're all gonna die anyway, can't we at least ride out and run over a couple hundred orcs with some cool music playing in the background? THEODEN: No, I'm too chicken to do that. WE'RE ALL DOOMED!!! GIMLI: The sun is rising. THEODEN: The sun is rising? The SUN is RISING? THE SUN IS RISING?! Well, that changes everything. Let's go. Gimli, the secret weapon, please. ARAGORN: Secret weapon? THEODEN: You'll see. GAMLING: Here, I recommend you take these. hands everybody some earplugs Uruks break in. Gimli runs up to the top of the tower and finds a CD player wired to some HUUUUGE speakers. He turns it on Uruks fall to the floor and die from the horror of hearing ELEVATOR MUSIC at ear-splitting decibel levels (where's the evil smily when I really need it?) Theoden and Co. ride out and run over many of the remaining orcs, who die just as easily Gandalf, Eomer, Rohirrim show up and ride down the hill GANDALF: Where did all these guys come from? You only had 20 or so. EOMER: Must be a plot hole. Pay no attention. GANDALF: Right. Got it. RANDOM GUY: Aaaaaaagh! horse trips over rock his horse hits the rider in front of him, who crashes into the riders in front of him, etc., and everybody falls like dominoes, crashing into the orcs who in turn fall like dominoes OK, all we need to do for the rest of TTT are: Treebeard discovering half the forest is missing Ents trashing Isengard Frodo and Sam at Osgiliath Gandalf's "We're doomed" speech Final scene with Frodo, Sam and Gollum in Ithilien Then we're on to ROTK... __________________ I ♣ baby seals.