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And Voralphion, if only male decendants can become king, explain the Kings and Queens of Numenor The elfs could have easily done what Tar-Aldarion did and change the rules of sucession
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True they could have, but they didn't.
Anyway, by the time of the third age, a high king of the noldor probably wasn't necessary. The title of high king came about due to the fact that the noldor needed a united resistance against morgoth. After morgoth was overthrown Gil Galad remained so he kept his title. After the last alliance both Morgoth and sauron were overthrown and the elves had no real enemy (at that time anyway) so the position of high king was no longer needed in order to lead a united resistance.
The title of high king was only used in middle earth, and so anyone released from mandos would not be a contender for the position. Anyway, Finwe was never coming out so the only one who could claim leadership of the noldor was Fingolfin.