[Maédhros]

I could have sworn that Aiwendil had responed to these clarifications made by Tar-E.

Page 22 note 26, the Q&E statement does not have the Noldor as 'lithe' like the Sindar, the 'but' indicates a contrast between the Noldor and Sindar, i.e. the Sindar are lithe.

I would propose:

[Yet] was Tuor taller than any that stood there{. Indeed} [though indeed] the {Gondothlim} [Gondolindrim] were not bent of back as some of their unhappy kin became, labouring without rest at delving and hammering for {Melko} [Morgoth], but {small were} they [were] <QE strong and tall, but> {and} slender {and very lithe} .

Just deleting the and very lithe part.

Page 23 "[gilded images] of two trees, and [likeness] should perhaps be 'in the likeness of'

I really like this.

Page 31 'none such delvers of earth and rock as the Noldor'. What about Dwarves?

An excellent point.

Now there are none such delvers of earth or rock as the {Noldoli} [Noldor], [except for the dwarves] (and this {Melko} [Morgoth] knows), but in those places is the earth of a great hardness; and Tuor said:

Perhaps Aiwendil can come up with something better.

Page 37 Salgant alone riding should be deleted. It has already been established that the Gondolindrim ride.

They were dight with tassels of silver and tassels of gold, and a harp of silver shone in their blazonry upon a field of black; but {Salgant} [Talagand] bore one of gold, and he alone rode into battle of all the sons of the {Gondothlim} [Gondolindrim]{, and he was heavy and squat}.

I'm not sure why would we need to delete the part about Talagand riding, but what I would do is to remove the part in which he is heavy and squat, kind of goes against the description of the Ñoldor.

Page 40, the fighting between the Moles and the Wing, dangerous as this equals Kinslaying.

This is interesting, and you are right of course.
One solution that comes to my mind is to remove the references of the Moles in our account. As bad as those elves seemed to be, I don't think that in JRRT later writtings, those elves could have let Maeglin get away with that.

Now Tuor did this, though his valour leapt to the noise of war, that he might take farewell of Idril and {Eärendel} [Eärendil]; and speed them with a bodyguard down the secret way ere he returned himself to the battle throng to die if must be{: but he found a press of the Mole-folk about his door, and these were the grimmest and least good-hearted of folk that {Meglin} [Maeglin] might get in that city. Yet were they free {Noldoli} [Noldor] and under no spell of {Melko} [Morgoth]'s like their master, wherefore though for the lordship of {Meglin} [Maeglin] they aided not Idril, no more would they touch of his purpose despite all his curses}.
Now then {Meglin} [Maeglin] had Idril by the hair and sought to drag her to the battlements out of cruelty of heart, that she might see the fall of {Eärendel} [Eärendil] to the flames; but he was cumbered by that child, and she fought, alone as she was, like a tigress for all her beauty and slenderness. There he now struggles and delays amid oaths while that folk of the Wing draw nigh − and lo! Tuor gives a shout so great that the Orcs hear it afar and waver at the sound of it. Like a crash of tempest the guard of the Wing were amid the men of the Mole, and these were stricken asunder. When {Meglin} [Maeglin] saw this he would stab {Eärendel} [Eärendil] with a short knife he had; but that child bit his left hand, that his teeth sank in, and he staggered, and stabbed weakly, and the mail of the small coat turned the blade aside; and thereupon Tuor was upon him and his wrath was terrible to see. He seized {Meglin} [Maeglin] by that hand that held the knife and broke the arm with the wrench, and then taking him by the middle leapt with him upon the walls, and flung him far out. Great was the fall of his body, and it smote {Amon Gwareth} [Amon Gwared] three times ere it pitched in the midmost of the flames; and the name of {Meglin} [Maeglin] has gone out in shame from among [the ]Eldar {and {Noldoli} [Noldor]}.
{Then the warriors of the Mole being more numerous than those few of the Wing, and loyal to their lord, came at Tuor, and there were great blows, but no man might stand before the wrath of Tuor, and they were smitten and driven to fly into what dark holes they might, or flung from the walls.} Then Tuor and his men must get them to the battle of the Gate, for the noise of it has grown very great, and Tuor has it still in his heart that the city may stand; yet with Idril he left there Voronwë against his will and some other swordsmen to be a guard for her till he returned or might send tidings from the fray.

This has the virtue of eliminating the Kinslaying factor reserved to the sons of Fëanor.

Page 40 "Eldar and Noldor" is redundant.

You are right of course. Done in the previous point.

Page 43 note 125 'And he drove them back', "he" should be changed, or clarified

I think that you are correct.

There Tuor slew Othrod a lord of the Orcs cleaving his helm, and Balcmeg he hewed asunder, and Lug he smote with his axe that his limbs were cut from beneath him at the knee, but Ecthelion shore through two captains of the goblins at a sweep and cleft the head of Orcobal their chiefest champion to his teeth; and by reason of the great doughtiness of those two lords they came even unto the Balrogs. {Of those demons of power Ecthelion slew three} [And {he}[Echtelion] drove them back] , for the brightness of his sword cleft the iron of them and did hurt to their fire, and they writhed; yet of the leap of that axe Dramborleg that was swung by the hand of Tuor were they still more afraid,

Is this better.

Page 50 Salgant being "old". Perhaps remove.

I'm not sure that it has to go. What do the others think.

Page 51 "whom the Eldar named Sorontar", "Eldar" should be changed. Noldor and Sindar are both Eldar.

I don't get this.

Page 58 'Quendi the Light-elves', change Quendi to Vanyar.

Quite correct.