[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

That's right.

I've been getting complaints lately that Tolkien's characters have great swords practically dropped into their laps, whereas mine have to put up with all sorts of inconvenient eccentricities. Mind you, I'm still writing the plot for the character in question, and I might decide that he'd be more interesting dead.

'Indeed, Master. You have my most humble gratitude for this, the greatest blade yet borne by any hero who is me.'

Sarcastic, but it'll do. Now shut up and smoke your pipe until I need you. And bear in mind that I never wrote Windósil out of the narrative.

'I hate you'

That is a perfect way to start.

What was I saying again?