As to the 'ruined their lives' quote - I probably shouldn't have used it, as I know I've read it - was sure it was in the Carpenter biog - but can't find it there. I will try & dig it out. There are numerous similar quotes in Letters & Biog.
Found it - its not in the Biog, its from Donald Swann's forword to The Road Goes Ever On( I did 'misremember' the context of the comment, though):
Quote:
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Along with many others I often found myself desiring to vanish into Middle Earth, to escape utterly into fantasy! On the other hand this was a temptation making one unfit to live in this earth at all; on the other, the phrase Middle-Earth is but a medieval way of describing our own world poised between Heaven & Hell. Is Tolkien’s world of fantasy an escape at all, or do we therein meet ourselves, with all our problems? His books, as those of CS Lewis, include well-nigh perfect creatures, Elves, eldila, great lords & magicians. These heroes, I decided, were bu pardigms of humans with a sense of destiny & purpose; & Frodo, the central hero, carries mortality in the shape of a lasting wound. The heroes of Greek legend were often real people of a past time, only with wings drawn in. To sum up this paragraph, I used to feel that the Tolkien dimension was almost a danger. I then went against this, & decided I would enter it at any time I chose, but with this golden rule (with this phial glowing on my desk?) that i must be able to emerge, to shut the boook, & get up from the chair. If I can’t, I will earn the disapproval of the author. He was an upright man in the real world, & had no intention of casting a spell on anyone. I told him once of a young man who thought he was Frodo. ‘I’ve ruined their lives.’ he said disconsolately.
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