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Although I may be a member of the minority on this, I felt the same way about the Grey Havens. When I read the book, I pictured a grey, misty harbour, the voices of Elves lamenting the end of their stay in Middle-earth in a solemn dirge, & the ship setting sail into a misty horizon.
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Oh, you are definitely not in the minority (I would think), especially among book fans. The movie Grey Havens definitely didn't meet in any way my version of the Grey Havens. I agree it was definitely much too bright, and not somber enough. But, yes, I most definitely agree that much of the magic was gone from the film. They did a wonderful job, but it is basically impossible to match that same feeling for everyone that you get while reading the book. The book is just so amazing, and really when you read it all the characters become your own, and you in a way go back to when you were younger, and when you spent all of your time creating imaginary worlds of your own. So the world of Middle Earth becomes yours in a way. But I guess that is one of the wonderful things about books... They don't just get served to you like a film, you have to think and work harder to get the full experience.
But, yes, I share many of the same opinions as many of you about the films. I love them... but not as much as the books