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Hugging trees IS good for you.
If you're ever in a fight with nine nazgul, don't worry. They will attack you one by one and the others will wander around looking threatening until it is their turn.
Always word phrases about how you can be killed VERY carefully.
If anyone swings a large mace at you, just duck until they get frustrated.
NEVER say "So it begins".
If you're outnumbered a thousand to one, just get a poncy man in white to kill your leader.
Never scream as you charge in slow motion.
If there's a vast hunk of rubble heading for you, just stand there... it'll land right in front of you and stop.
If you're ever just about to be killed, talk to your best friend about your girl back home and you'll pull through.
NEVER EVER EVER say "There'll be enough for the journey back".
If a huge firework explodes in your tent, you'll just get your eyebrows singed off.
Rings send you mad...
Never accept suspicious jewelry through the mail.
If a large man in a black cape asks you the way to the pub, just tell him...
When in doubt, hit it with a stick...
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