[Maeggaladiel]

Okay, this looks fun. I'll give it a shot.

PJ-Okay, everyone! This scene is looking great!

Haldir- Whaddya mean great?! This completely deviates from the original texts of Mr. Tolkein!

JRRT- (from closet) Yeah! *Smith kicks him*

Haldir- And what's with that guy? *points to Smith, who looks uncomfortable and starts whistling innocently.*

PJ- Look, dude, I'm taking artistic liscense. You can't make a good film without drama. Tolkein just doesn't have the drama I'm looking for, so I.. *modified* a few things.

Haldir- HA! "Modified," my elven backside! You've completely ruined everything! Like this! *takes out copy of script* Look, it says here that the House of Healing scene has been cut! That's so important to the storyline! And what's all this garbage about Arwen taking Glorfindel's place?

PJ- *sigh* When last I checked, Peter, not Haldir, was director of this film.

EVERYONE ELSE- Ooh, burned!

Theoden- That's MY line!

*LATER THAT EVENING*-- In PJ's Trailer.
PJ- Criticize MY directing, will he? Thinks my script stinks, does he? Hmph! I'll show him! I'll fix his little red wagon!!

*grabs copy of script and a red pen. Crawls under bed with a flashlight.*

PJ- No one will think to look for me here. He'll pay! They'll all pay!!

*Mad scribbling sounds and wicked laughter resonate from trailer.*

**NEXT DAY**

PJ- Erm, Uruk 236, I have a.. um.. new addition to your script.

236- Ooh! Do I finally get the emotional monologue I've been asking for?

PJ- Um, no. But the addition is a reeeeally important part of the story.

236- Oooh! Okay!

PJ- OKAY PEOPLE! Let's get to work! *Haldir passes by. PJ grins wickedly*We're skipping directly to the next scene for the Helm's Deep battle! You'll find it marked in your scripts...

Random Guy- Why are we doing this fight scene? Lego still doesn't have the stair surfing thing down yet.

*Lego gets on shield, grins, starts down stairs. His arms flail wildly, he loses his balance. Sheild flies out from underneath him and sails across set, impailing Uruk 791. Lego falls down stairs and lands in mud.*

PJ- Umm, we'll just skip forward a bit. MEDIC? Annnnd... ACTION!

*Uruk 236 looks into his script. In scribbly, red ink, the words "Get impailed by Haldir's sword" are scratched out and above it is written "Violently impail Haldir with your sword. Then laugh. And taunt him! That little loser..." 236 shrugs.*

236- IMPAIL!! MWAHAHAHA!! YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMPSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELLED OF ELDERBERRIES! How was that?

Haldir- What the..? This wasn't in the script!

PJ-*looks dark and evil* It is now!

'Gorn-NOOOOOOO! *Runs to him*

Hal- Don't touch me! My wound will become infected with your filth! Ach!

A- Where does it hurt?

H- Oh, right around the big BLOODY SPOT!!! *dies*

PJ- Mwa ha haaa!

A- No! He owed me money!

PJ- Let this be a lesson to you all: DO NOT QUESTION THE WISDOM OF AN ARTISTIC GENIUS!! MUAHAHAHAA!... I mean, um.... Shame that Haldir wasn't wearing that ARMOR that I told him to wear! Oh, dearie me! I forgot to put that in his script! meh heh!

MAEG