[Oddwen]

Gollum: Master must keep up his strength.

Frodo: Gandalf told me that you were not that different from a Hobbit once.

Gollum(double take): He said what? Ugh!

Frodo: He said your life was a sad story.

Gollum: It is now! Yuck!

Frodo: Smmmmeeeeeaaaagol...

Gollum: Stupid wizards...

Frodo: *ahem* Smmmmeeeeaaagoolll?

Gollum: Is there a problem?

Frodo: Isn't that your name?

Gollum: No, that's not our name.

Frodo: Well then...what is your name?

Gollum: Mustn't ask, not its business...gollum gollum!

Frodo: Is it...Ralph?

Gollum: Nope.

Frodo: How about Fred?

Gollum: Lemmie check...nope.

Frodo: What about Floyd?

Gollum: Look Master, we appreciates the attentions, yes we do, but we'd really like to get some...oh, we don't know...SLEEP right now, maybe?

Fro: I bet I know.

Gollum: What?

Fro: Is it...Rumpelstiltskin?

Gollum: A NAZGUL TOLD YOU THAT! A NAZGUL TOLD YOU THAT!

*And in his fury, Gollum stamped one foot so hard into the marsh that he sunk out of sight*

Fro: Ummmmmm....?


(Let's try this...)

Aragorn: Legolas! What do your elf-eyes see?

Leggy: A cottage! Made all out of gingerbread.

Ara: Well, it's not to be wondered at, astigmatism seems to...a what??

Leggy: A tasty little gingerbread cottage. Can we eat it? Please please please pleasepleaseplease?

*A little old lady hobbles out*

LittleOldLady: Hello, travellers! Come inside, dearies and I'll make you some nice sweets!

Legolas: *drools and starts to hypnotically walk towards her*

Aragorn: Um, thanks all the same, but we're on a mission...

LOL: Oh, it won't take but a minute, and I've just set some pastries to cool!

ARagorn: *wipes a little drool from his face* Well, maybe just a little...

*There is a loud noise and the cottage and the little old lady vaporize. Leggy and Aragorn look up to see Gimli with a vaporizer*

Gimli: Never trust little old ladies.

(So it's late. Sue me. Hee hee hee...)