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Jackson would have had to have spent a fair bit of movie time showing the relationship between Merry and Theoden for the book version farewell to have worked. He could not afford time wise to do this, (or perhaps he wanted more screen time for a female) so he subsituted the scenes building up Merry and Theoden's relationship, and built up Theoden's and Eowyn's instead.
Dininziliel, don't beat yourself up on forgetting certain parts of the story. LOTR is over a thousand pages long, and a human brain cannot possible store all of this information verbatim. You might think that forgetting merry's farewell with theoden is a major part, but there are dozens of others included or removed that might warrant another read of the book to remind our brains of the 'correct' version of events.
Every time I re read lotr I pick up at least a couple of things I haven't noticed before. eg as I recently stated on another post, I have just noticed the real animosity between aragorn and boromir in fotr. And for some reason I always struggle with frodo and sam's journey in Mordor and seem to be 'reminded' of this part of the book every time I read it. (not sure why this is).
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