[Nimrothiel]

Of course orcs can be taught how to knit; some of you have made the point that they were once elves. Elves have graceful fingers and would doubtless know how to knit, but for the orcs this would be but a distant memory; awakened only in the presence of wool and knitting needles. However, their fingers have grown too thick and lost their nimbleness. In seeing their distress, Sauron taught them how to put their new muscular bodies to use, and they became efficient killing machines. If they could but shrink in mass they would once again be able to knit and leave the peoples of Middle-Earth in peace.

Note: I hope that no-one has any objections to my using the knitting idea in a parody which I am working on loosely based off of "Bored of the Rings;" it's called "Spoof of the Rings."