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Thorongil wasn't recognized because Aragorn was one of the few Dunedain left, and one of the few with a long lifespan. Even if Theoden had remembered that mysterious fellow from his youth, he probably wouldn't have made the connection with Aragorn until the latter told him that he was the Heir to Gondor, Isildur's Heir, etc.
Denethor... well... Denethor was just a loony. Even in the beginning, while Aragorn was serving Ecthelion II as Thorongil, Denethor was extremely jealous of him. He probably saw through Aragorn's disguise, since he had those Numenorean mental abilities, and realized that this was the man who would one day take up the throne of Gondor, and reduce his (Denethor's) line to the status of a mere steward. Not many people can handle something like that with a smile on their face.
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But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.
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