There is one difference in the two situations you have put forward, Iarwain.
Elrond's condition on the marriage of his daughter was a worthy one. Aragorn was to reclaim his rightful throne, which necessarily entailed the defeat of Sauron (it would have been a short-lived reign otherwise).
Thingol's condition on the marriage of Beren and Luthien, on the other hand, seems rather foolish. Having ruled his kingdom quite happily without much concern for what was going on outside, he suddenly decides to tie its fate in with Feanor's oath (and thereby Mandos's prophecy). The defeat of Morgoth might have been a worthy aim, but the gaining of one Silmaril was hardly likely to guarantee peace and happiness for his subjects (or the rest of Beleriand for that matter). In fact quite the opposite, given that he knew Feanor's sons were sworn to regain the Silmarils.
So, while I think that you are right that there is a comparison to be made, Elrond's condition seems to me to be the far more sensible one.
[ February 01, 2003: Message edited by: The Saucepan Man ]
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