Actually, I believe the official line is that Ecthelion slew him with his helmet spike. Sorry for not being able to provide a quote.
One of the most striking passages in LOTR for me, is where Frodo sees Glorfindel as he is on "the other side" - he sees Glorfindel on the spiritual level, where he is probably even more powerful than he is on a physical level.
No man ever killed a Balrog. Elves exist on the physical and spiritual planes at the same time. Gandalf also is in a peculiar position. As an Istari, he is incarnate in the form of a man, but is able to tap into his innate spiritual power, chiefly through the use of his staff, as a wizard. It seems to me that to defeat a Balrog, you need to be strong in body and mind, and also in spirit. Possibly you have to have a good soul as well, to fight the evil spirit of the Balrog with. It seems to be a question of faith or purity as much as swordsmanship.
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But Gwindor answered: 'The doom lies in yourself, not in your name'.
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