The keyword here is 'war'. Lord of the Rings is almost all about war. If Tolkien had had women regularaly fighting battles against orcs and southrons, it would have been a lot less realistic. He was not sexist.
True, he should have written about a few more female elves in Lorien & Rivendell, and maybe some more women in Rohan, but that is somewhat of a minor thing, easily overlooked. And what about the Entwives? If he was really sexist he wouldn't have included them so much as he did.
Most of the roles of Third-Age Middle-Earth figures of prominence had to do with fighting, and that is, I believe, why women were largely left out of those positions. In places where fighting was absent - and there were few - women wer there.
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