[Keneldil the Polka-dot]

in latter sense the process like to a kind of initiation, the title is applied by an elf, usually is expressed by the verb “to name” and written with capital E (I name you an Elf-friend), and, most interesting of all, title in such sense implies change of inner state of a initiatd person

I just wanted to comment on whether or not Gildor "did something" to Frodo by naming him Elf-Friend, something later recognized by Goldberry. I'd argue that Goldberry would have said the same thing even if Gildor and Frodo had never met. Gildor and Goldberry both were recognizing something that was already in Frodo. You list "inner, the state of his fea" as your second meaning of Elf-Friend. Frodo possessed the inner qualities of an Elf-Friend before having the title conferred upon him by Gildor. Gildor did not change Frodo, he just put a title to qualities Frodo already had.

mark it leaves allright, and it is processed too solemnly to be mere assurance of stray elves help, whom, in case it left no mark, should take aforesaid person's claim of being an elf-friend upon his word. And it's rather odd to imagine person wandering about claiming: look at me, I'm an elf friend. The thing is somehow always guessed out all by itself, as in Goldberry's case.

Following my earlier argument, the inherent characteristics of the person in question would identify them as an Elf-Friend to other elves, or other similarly perceptive beings like Goldberry. No mark or change required.

From Birdland:

Mmmmmmm...I have the feeling it confers a little more than that, Raven, since it is not granted often.

I’d say that the title wasn’t granted often because there weren’t many people who fit the description, so to speak. The rarity of such individuals alone would mark them, without the title changing the bearer in some way.

Child of the 7th Age: I like your idea of Tolkien being the overarching Elf-Friend. I had not thought of it in that way before, but now that you put it into words it makes perfect sense.