[Annunfuiniel]

Night had grown dark hours ago but still Farin couldn’t sleep. Once more she turned and then sat up. Immediately her gaze fixed on Vráin’s motionless figure just a few paces away.

There’s nothing you can do! Go to sleep! Farin tried to convince herself – without much success. Her heart was heavy with worry…and guilt. Sighing she stood up and looked round their camp. Under an old elm tree she saw Selvren, whose watch it was that night, and quietly she headed to him.

Selvren startled first but then relaxed as he recognised the comer. “Peaceful night,” the elf spoke softly as Farin sat beside him and drew her knees up towards her breast.

“For some…” she whispered and then fell silent. The crescent moon shone pale light up in the southern sky but a chill wind blew from north. Farin shuddered and pulled her cloak tighter around her.

“Selvren, I can take your watch if you like. I won’t sleep tonight anyway…” Farin said at last. She could read the worried question from the elf’s eyes and forced a small smile on her lips. “I’ll be fine tomorrow. I just need to be alone for a while and think things through.”

Selvren nodded; “Good night then. And remember: I’m wary of giving advice but if you need someone to listen to you…I’m always there.” And with that he left Farin alone under the elm.

*****************

An hour passed and still Farin sat silent. But ever and anon her gaze wandered to Vráin and inside of her head the storm was growing. Suddenly she stood up and stepped forward. A pace and then she hesitated. Go to him! her mind urged her body, and she moved on.

Vráin slept peacefully. The white cloth was removed from his eyes for the night. Slowly, cautiously, Farin kneeled beside his head and then reached out her hand, almost touching Vráin’s grey brown hair.

“Vráin…” she whispered and her voice was no louder than a brush of wind in the grass. There was a moment of silence as Farin held her breath. A wailing cry of an owl rose and then died down. The moon slipped behind a cloud. But Vráin didn’t move.

“Vráin, I’m so sorry…” Farin stammered; and the dam broke. Tears long restrained flowed freely. “I saw the blow coming… I saw it and did nothing, I froze…And now it’s too late to ask for your forgiveness…” The words came out in bursts between silent sobs. She felt like crying out loud and had to struggle to keep her voice down.

Farin took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Then, all of a sudden, a faint memory from her childhood filled her mind and gave her comfort. Slowly she opened her teary eyes and looked at Vráin. She raised her hands in ancient blessing, passed from mother to daughter for years uncounted.

“Light of my life: may your path be bright to forever walk right.”

Farin leaned over Vráin’s face and kissed the air just over his brow. Two last tears rolled down her cheeks and dropped on Vráin’s closed eyelids. The dwarf stirred in his sleep. Farin startled and drew back - but nothing happened. Vráin slept peacefully again. Farin stood up and silently she walked back to her post.

*****************

Vráin lay on the ground, eyes closed tight, and Farin’s teardrops mingled with his own tears. He had heard every word and felt her pain. Yet he had not spoken a word and the darkness had veiled his expressions.

Presently the moon peeked again from behind the clouds and revealed Vráin’s pale face. I should have said something! But first I didn’t wish to speak with anyone and then…Then I couldn’t find the words. Vráin’s thoughts were all confused save for one clear voice that rang in his head:

That blessing! Gods, I’ve been blind the whole time! He’s not he but she; Farin’s a girl!

Vráin couldn’t sleep that night. But still he didn’t go to her. Not yet, he thought; I’m not ready…nor is she.

[ July 01, 2003: Message edited by: Annunfuiniel ]