[Airerûthiel]

Neisa had not been able to avoid observing the interactions between the trio of Talômi, Rie and Eohsecg. Her sharp ears had also picked up on Firramer's tale, and she sympathised greatly with him. She knew how he had felt. A sudden pang of sorrow of sorrow stabbed into her heart for an instant, and then died again. It was all she could do not to burst into tears. Maybe that had been why she understood how her friend Torfithien felt, although the Lórien Elf did not know the daughter of Rohan's true past.

She gazed down at her hands. The bloodstains were spreading, running through her fingers like a ruby river. Her heart beat faster and faster as she desperately tried to wipe away the evidence of what she had done. She noticed a few other patrons were giving her strange looks, and panic quickly set in. If only she could turn back time, to when everything was all right, to when Gwannyn was still alive.

It had been her fault he was killed. She had been determined to go off to the battle with the wild Men of the north, and had done everything possible to get among the ranks - cut off her hair, stolen armour from her father, the lot - and yet he had discovered her in the camp. The whispered argument they'd had that night still rang in her mind, sending a shiver down her spine as she remembered the last words he said to her:

"This is not your place. Go back to Edoras. You will be safe there. I will return to the city to claim you as my bride as soon as this fight is over." He kissed her on the forehead, wrapped her in a tight, brief but warm embrace, and walked away into the darkness for ever.

And she had just stood there and watched him go, instead of running after him. She had been weak. He had died because she had not resisted his words. Her wounded heart broke once again, and she could not help feeling more than a little jealous of Rie. It was not that she had any affection for Eohsecg other than as a friend; it was the fact that the Ranger was receiving something that the maid of Rohan had not felt for a long three years.

She sighed heavily, drained the last of her ale and made her way up the stairs to her bed. But her dreams would have no peace tonight. She was determined to get away from Edoras, with all its bad memories and pressure upon her to be perfect. There was a limit to how much she could take, and she was teetering on the edge of it.