[Mithadan]

"OK,3..2..1..we're live."

[Cut to camera 1 -- Newscaster behind desk]

"Good morning and welcome to the Channel 3 News. I'm Borodil, and today's top story focuses on the upcoming Downie Award Show. Just two days away and the Downies have hit their first major speed bump...one which threatens to upset the cart. The Hobbiton Garden Club, angry over a controversial article written by prominent Barrow-Downer, Dr. Marileangorifurnimaluim, entitled 'Hobbit Sex Ed' has organized a protest against the Downies, and threats of violence have been acted upon."

[cut to video clip of a small structure in flames surrounded by protesters]

"Yesterday, an explosive device was detonated in a Porta-Potty erected by Downies' workers. No one was hurt, although it was rumored that a Moderator was in the Potty just moments before the explosion. In addition, threats have been made upon the life of Marileangorifurnimaluim, who has reportedly gone into hiding. The King wasted no time in responding."

[cut to video of the King's Public Minister]

Minister: "The King has instructed Awards Show staff to secure additional security in order to ensure the safety of citizens and guests..."

[cut to Borodil]

"The security contingent arrived this morning and it appears that Mithadan has made a controversial selection of security agencies..."

[cut to video of the main gate of Minas Anor; citizens are fleeing the area shrieking as a column of Orcs mounted on Wargs enters the city chanting as they ride]

"Oh, we are the Uruks,
the Mighty, Mighty Uruks.
And everywhere we go,
people want to know,
who we are,
where we come from..."

[cut to Borodil]

"The captain of the security contingent, Gravlox Uruk, assures this reporter that the peace will be maintained."

[cut to close-up of Gravlox, a typically ugly Orc]

"We are here to provide a strong and visible security presence for the ceremony. (smiles toothily, exhibiting yellowish fangs) We don't anticipate trouble, but if the need arises, we are prepared to act quickly and effectively..."

[cut to Borodil]

"Additional security measures will be taken as well."

[cut to a very harried looking Mithadan]

"We will require all guests to check and surrender their weapons upon entering the Great Hall without exception. Only the security contingent and Barrow-Downs staff will be allowed to carry weapons. (close up of Mithadan's sword)"

[cut to Borodil]

"Will these precautions be enough to salvage the show? Only time will tell..."