As second in command, it had been Falowik's assignment to take up the rear and watch their backs. That was well enough. But it had separated him from Uien except for at meals. As they had made their way north, coming into lands Falowik had known alone for twelve long years, his spirit had slipped and waned. He had felt the emptiness of all his wandering days and the shallowness of his purpose - survival - descended on him. Is that not my goal once again?
No, he told himself. There was more. They sought Eodwine, or news of his fate. It did not matter. Though he had told himself over and over again that things were different now, the old despair had come over him and he had no means to hold it at bay.
If only it could be just Uien and me he had thought, but knew that was just selfish. He had watched her often from his place at the back of the party, watched the smooth line of her face, the grace of her form, her long hair, and it was lifegiving drink to him. Once in a great while she would look back and see him invariably watching her, and she would smile. At those times his spirit lifted, and he recalled himself to his duty to keep an eye out for the sake of the party. Then watching the bleak land, his spirit would slip again, lower than before.
Eswen broke through Falowik's darkness; not with words, but by her kindness to a wolf pup. Falowik's eyes lost their haunted look, and softened. He went over to Eswen and reached a tentative hand to ruffle the fur of the sleeping pup between its ears. She did not say him nay. His touch was light and careful. A smile spread on his face unlike any of the half smiles and ghosts of smiles Eswen had seen until now. His eyes sparkled in the firelight.
"I am glad you are with us, Eswen." His voice was gruff. She smiled. Then Falowik became aware of himself and coughed into his hand, excused himself, rose, and went back to his place.
[ November 16, 2003: Message edited by: littlemanpoet ]
|