[Kalimac]

TealDude3 - ahhh. Niccccce parody. How about the scene at the gate of Moria? Of course, a few things are slightly different. First of all, the hobbits look as goofy as they did in the Rankin-Bass cartoons (the ones where it was a close call who was scarier-looking; hobbits or Orcs). Second of all, Bill the Pony's voice is supplied by Eddie Murphy.

Gandalf is standing at the gates, saying various words and trying to remember. Merry and Pippin take the opportunity to exchange a few wisecracks with Bill and Sam, most of them at the just-making-it-to-a-G-rating level that Disney tends to do these days. ("Heyyyy," says Bill. "That snowy mountain pass isn't looking all that bad these days. And WHAT is with the color of that water? Looks like something real big had to go real bad, if you know what I'm saying.") Gimli and Legolas are sitting on the same rock, facing away from each other with comically surly expressions on their faces, ditto with Boromir and Aragorn. Not a hint of suggestion that any of these supporting players are, oh, *worried* about their situation. Why should they be? They know the script.

Time passes. More shots of Gandalf becoming more and more disheveled and ineffectual-looking. He starts yelling "Edro! Edro!" with "wittier" comments from Bill and his supporting cast of hobbits. Finally, Frodo the Soulful One, whose eyes are 65% bigger than anyone else's and who has been sitting apart all this time, creeps up to Gandalf. "Gandalf?"

"I'm busy, Frodo!"

"Gandalf, I just wanted to say that I think I can help."

"Oh, I doubt that a hobbit can help me, Frodo."

"You should trust me, Gandalf. Because..."

Violins swell in the background.

"Because...

"Gandalf, you once used to say
That e'en the smallest person may
Change great things - if they just...try
Gandalf, I'm a normal guy
But two heads're better than one, you know
Even if one head is slow."

Etc. Song continues as Frodo sings about the value of teamwork and trusting in friendship. Final lines are a medley of all the various Middle-Earth languages and their word for "friend". Last of all, Gandalf sings the Elvish word "Mellon!" and what do you know, the doors creak open. Everyone, laughing merrily, goes into the mines which must have some internal light source because they sure look nice and big and well-lit.

Yes, the Watcher in the Water strikes. But he doesn't grab Frodo, he grabs Bill and twirls him around in the air ("I bet you ain't never seen a PONY fly!") and finally drops him after getting bored (no gratuitous killing in Disney!) and then smashes the mine doors out of pure merriment. Off goes Bill, sadly, but still with the comic patter. More comic repartee from Merry and Pippin (with Sam being the butt) and the company sets off into the Long Afternoon Light of Moria.

Hope nobody was offended by this. (I realize that the "donkey fly" wasn't technically Disney, but it easily could have been). I just enjoy this kind of thing...if you couldn't tell... [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img].