[Meela]

The elves arrive at Helms Deep and line up behind the wall.
It starts raining. 2,000 umbrellas shoot up in the air.
The Uruk-Hai advance. The elves drop the umbrellas and run screaming into the caves.


Haldir gets bloodied up and lays dying.
Haldir: Aragorn! My mirror, my make-up...
(dies)
Aragorn takes out a bright red lipstick and paints clown lips on Haldir.


Aragorn marches up and down the wall at Helms Deep behind the elves yelling orders.
Aragorn: ready... aim....
The elves all turn around and shoot him. Aragorn falls down dead. Haldir steps up and kicks him.
Haldir: I'm in charge here...


Legolas and Gimli are behind the wall at Helms Deep waiting for the Uruk-Hai.
Legolas: taunt... shorty... taunt, taunt...
Gimli suddenly shoots up 17ft and steps on Legolas and squishes him.
Gimli: that'll teach you!


Haldir gets speared. Aragorn rushes over.
Aragorn: Haldir...
Haldir gets up.
Haldir: I'm okay... (kills some Uruk-Hai)
Haldir gets stabbed in the back.
Aragorn: Haldir...
Haldir gets back up again.
Haldir: I'm okay...
Aragorn: ....
Haldir: I saw the Fellowship of the Ring yesterday. If Boromir won't die, why should I?
Aragorn rolls his eyes and stabs Haldir. Haldir dies.
Boromir walks up and kicks his body.
Boromir: copy-cat...


Frodo plays around with the One Ring. The Eye of Sauron appears in front of him. Frodo grabs an onion and holds it up. The Eye begins to cry.
Flood warnings for the next fortnight are issued throughout Middle-Earth.


Isildur cuts off Saurons fingers. 20 new fingers appear on his hand, half of them with rings on. Sauron looks at Isildur.
Sauron: hey, I didn't know it would happen either, man...