The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum - View Single Post - Middle-earth Therapy Sessions

LePetitChoux · 01-04-2003, 07:04 AM

Meanwhile, in the office next door:
Phsychoanalyst A is busy reading the Therapist Almanach and drinking Miruvor and snacking on Lembas. In strolls Goldberry.

A: And how may I help you?
G: It's Tom.
A: *knowing look* what's happened now?
G: He's- he's- Oh! *bursts into tears*
A: There there.

*Tom Bombadil runs in*

G: Aaargh! I mean..Tom. Hi. Nice to see you.
TB:Hey doll!
G: Where have you been? I was wrried sick!
TB: At Merry's, doll.
G: *aside* Just ignore him, he's been calling me "doll" after that 50-s films marathon on the Palantir last week.
A: Will do. So, what appears to be the problem?
G: Well, I've lived in his house for about 400 years, and it's been ok, but I recently found out something...
TB: Don't believe her! She is lying!
A: I'll be the judge of that. But, to reassure you, Tom, I'm willing to hook her up
G:No! Not to the....Lie-Detector!
A:Yes.
G:Oh.

*A hooks her up to the lie detector*

A: We haven't used this here for around 60 years. Bilbo bought it for us when he came back from his travels. It was useful for a while, but then everyone came here full of lies, so our in-house technician fiddled with it, and now I'm not sure if it is, ahem, in mint condition.
G:Ok.
A:So, let us start. Your name?
G: Why? [red light, buzz] No! [red light, buzz] I mean [red light, buzz] Those weren't my answers! [red light, buzz] Oh, for Petes' Sake! [red light, buzz] GOLDBERRY! [green light, ting!]
A: Sorry, it appears to be set to "latch on to every word" Well no wonder half the patients who took this test went mad...
G:What!?
A: Nothing...ok, I've setit to the "reasonably" setting.
G:reasonably? Surely it should be "reasonable"? Know your grammar people!
A:So...What appears to be troubling you?
G: Well, I...[buzz]AIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE! Ouch, that hurt [buzz] OWWWWWWWWWW! [buzz] AIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEE![buzz] *this continues for some time, until A and Tom decide something is wrong.
A: I think something is wrong.
TB:I second that opinion.
*sounds of Goldberry screaming can be heard in the background*
A:I wonder what.
TB:No idea...wait a minute! there is dirt after the "reasonably"! Rub it off!
A: *rubs it off* [GASP]
TB: What?
A: It says, "reasonably strong electric shock"! Oh no! Turn it off! Turn it off!

*after Goldberry is unhooked, the session continues*

G:Old man willow told me that Tom killed my father!
TB:No. I am your father
G:No...No....NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
A: [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] Next! *mutters* stupid starwars fans ruining a great session when i get my hands on them just you wait...

*just then, in walks...*

01-04-2003, 07:04 AM	#1
LePetitChoux Vegetable of Doom Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: London Posts: 720	Meanwhile, in the office next door: Phsychoanalyst A is busy reading the Therapist Almanach and drinking Miruvor and snacking on Lembas. In strolls Goldberry. A: And how may I help you? G: It's Tom. A: knowing look what's happened now? G: He's- he's- Oh! bursts into tears A: There there. *Tom Bombadil runs in* G: Aaargh! I mean..Tom. Hi. Nice to see you. TB:Hey doll! G: Where have you been? I was wrried sick! TB: At Merry's, doll. G: aside Just ignore him, he's been calling me "doll" after that 50-s films marathon on the Palantir last week. A: Will do. So, what appears to be the problem? G: Well, I've lived in his house for about 400 years, and it's been ok, but I recently found out something... TB: Don't believe her! She is lying! A: I'll be the judge of that. But, to reassure you, Tom, I'm willing to hook her up G:No! Not to the....Lie-Detector! A:Yes. G:Oh. A hooks her up to the lie detector A: We haven't used this here for around 60 years. Bilbo bought it for us when he came back from his travels. It was useful for a while, but then everyone came here full of lies, so our in-house technician fiddled with it, and now I'm not sure if it is, ahem, in mint condition. G:Ok. A:So, let us start. Your name? G: Why? [red light, buzz] No! [red light, buzz] I mean [red light, buzz] Those weren't my answers! [red light, buzz] Oh, for Petes' Sake! [red light, buzz] GOLDBERRY! [green light, ting!] A: Sorry, it appears to be set to "latch on to every word" Well no wonder half the patients who took this test went mad... G:What!? A: Nothing...ok, I've setit to the "reasonably" setting. G:reasonably? Surely it should be "reasonable"? Know your grammar people! A:So...What appears to be troubling you? G: Well, I...[buzz]AIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE! Ouch, that hurt [buzz] OWWWWWWWWWW! [buzz] AIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEE![buzz] this continues for some time, until A and Tom* decide something is wrong. A: I think something is wrong. TB:I second that opinion. sounds of Goldberry screaming can be heard in the background A:I wonder what. TB:No idea...wait a minute! there is dirt after the "reasonably"! Rub it off! A: rubs it off [GASP] TB: What? A: It says, "reasonably strong electric shock"! Oh no! Turn it off! Turn it off! after Goldberry is unhooked, the session continues G:Old man willow told me that Tom killed my father! TB:No. I am your father G:No...No....NOOOOOOOOOOOO! A: [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] Next! mutters stupid starwars fans ruining a great session when i get my hands on them just you wait... just then, in walks... __________________ je suis une bonne odeur