[good idea at the time]

Dear Lindir:

Greetings and salutations. Nienna Telmar, one of my best employees, tells me that you're looking for work. I've just heard a demo of your latest tape and I must admit it brings back memories of, well, the beginning of life, the universe, and everything. (Are you familiar with that story?) Of course, I wasn't involved personally in that music, but my former CEO -- I believe you know him as Morgoth -- was.

What I'm trying to say is that you are an elf of exceptional talent and I would be thrilled to have you here, working for MiddleEarth Enterprises. And I assure you that the rumors of other elves having unpleasant stays in Mordor in that past are just that -- rumors.

Speaking of my former CEO, the Vaya have allowed him to contact me from the Void, Inc and suggest opening a "Mouth of Sauron's Kareoke Bar." I was wondering if you could suggest someone who could give lessons to my more, er, musically challenged employees, namely the orc, goblins, wraiths, balrogs, and few others. It wouldn't do to have them frightening away customers, now would it?

Sincerely,
The Misunderstood Lord Sauron