Yes, I know what you mean. I have the same sort of feelings myself, that I don't belong here. I wish I could remember more clearly, but all I have is a vague feeling of something I have lost, and can't find, or like a beautiful memory fluttering around the edge of my mind, just out of reach. Like there is a space in my mind, and I'm trying to reach the other side, but my fingertips are an inch away, and I can't reach any farther.
I have dreams that I forget immediately when I wake. Sometimes I can remember am image from my dream, but not clearly enough that I could describe it, or draw it, I have tried. Lately the feeling has been stronger, and I have more of these dreams, and sometimes I'm not sure what is a dream and what is reality.
When I was much younger I knew another language, but I can't remember it at all now. Everyone thought I was making it up.
When I first saw the movie of LotR, I had read the book, but I wasn't so into it. Then I became obsessed, and I decided I wanted to come up with an elvish name for myself. I didn't know any elvish yet, but I knew that elvish names had meanings, like Legolas means greenleaf, and I decided that I wanted my elvish name to mean starfire. I write fantasy, and I used to have a lot of trouble coming up with names for my characters, so whenever I came up with one, I would write it down so I wouldn't forget. The first name I had come up with was Elinar. Then I found a copy of The Silmarillion, and was reading the elvish translations at the back, and found out that elen means star and nar means fire, so I put them together and got Elennar. I was a little creeped out by the similarities between Elinar and Elennar.
When I found this topic, I was so excited, because I had thought that I was just crazy, and I had almost stopped believing myself. I am so glad that you weren't too afraid that other people would think you were crazy to share your feelings.
*~Elennar~*
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