Frodo: Nerdy English student-teacher, fresh outta college
Sam: Florist
Merry: Bartender somewhere in upstate New York
Pippin: Skater
Aragorn: Guitarist in a London rock band
Legolas: Male model. Think Zoolander w/ long blond hair and a bow and arrows
Gimli: Biker who drives a motorcycle down highways and listens to bad country music
Gandalf: Crazy old coot who lives in a cabin in the forest and claims to possess psychic powers
Arwen: Pop star
Eowyn: Karate instructor
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Do not meddle in the affairs of Robin Headstrong, for she is quick to anger and knows karate. Kya!
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