Can I do one?
Okay:
SWM, son of an Elf mother and a Human father, wants to find a girl that wants to be the first mortal ruler of a certain people with him. Must have long life span and be able to put up with corrupt men, as many Numenoreans became such. If interested, call (555)178-5464 [(555)1ST-KING]
OR, if you prefer:
SW?(I don't know)M, evil god, desires a girl that does not mind spending all eternity in the Void with him. Must enjoy torture, slaughter, and evil offspring. If interested, call (555)426-3845 [(555)IAM-EVIL].
Heehee: I love coming up with phone numbers!