[Brinniel]

Announcer: Your friends are out saving lives, kicking orc @$$, and destroying the One Ring. They invited you to join them.
*Scenes of the fellowship fighting orcs or doing anything that appears interesting appear on TV screen.*
*Suddenly, the camera turns to Pippin, who is sitting in chair, looking bored as ever*
Announcer: But instead, you are sitting in Rivendell with nothing to do because, not only did Gandalf call you, "Fool of a Took," but you also smoked pipeweed. Smoke pipeweed, and you lose a wizard's trust. Stay Drug-Free.