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Kalessin · 02-26-2002, 11:22 AM

Well said [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] You have earned my undying respect (purely chivalric of course, don't even go there).

Perhaps a postmodern re-working of LoTR should be attempted, with parallels of his linguistic distinctions that will resonate more accurately with our 21st century times.

The Shire of course should be Essex, home of many robust and homely citizens, with Ray Winstone as a grizzled Bilbo. Mordor naturally becomes the wasteland known as South East London (somewhere between Lewisham and Docklands). The Elves would primarily consists of media types and ex-art students (David Bowie as Elrond, Tom Paulin and Germaine Greer as Celeborn and Galadriel). The heroes of men could be modelled on the England rugby team, complete with public school accents and old school tie camaraderie. The Nazgul Witch King of Angmar would have to be played by Ali G (as a kind of demented gang leader), while Sauron would necessarily be Simon Cowell, silently and malevolently pulling strings from beyond the pale. Ugluk and Grishnak could be Grant and Phil Mitchell from Eastenders. Of course Gandalf would ideally be universally recognised as a font of wisdom - a sort of Bob Holness or Terry Venables figure. And it could be re-titled 'Orcs, Walks and Nine Smokin Geezers, innit'.

Hm .... time to wind up that particular stream of consciousness.

Peace [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

02-26-2002, 11:22 AM	#55
Kalessin Wight Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Earthsea, or London Posts: 175	Well said [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] You have earned my undying respect (purely chivalric of course, don't even go there). Perhaps a postmodern re-working of LoTR should be attempted, with parallels of his linguistic distinctions that will resonate more accurately with our 21st century times. The Shire of course should be Essex, home of many robust and homely citizens, with Ray Winstone as a grizzled Bilbo. Mordor naturally becomes the wasteland known as South East London (somewhere between Lewisham and Docklands). The Elves would primarily consists of media types and ex-art students (David Bowie as Elrond, Tom Paulin and Germaine Greer as Celeborn and Galadriel). The heroes of men could be modelled on the England rugby team, complete with public school accents and old school tie camaraderie. The Nazgul Witch King of Angmar would have to be played by Ali G (as a kind of demented gang leader), while Sauron would necessarily be Simon Cowell, silently and malevolently pulling strings from beyond the pale. Ugluk and Grishnak could be Grant and Phil Mitchell from Eastenders. Of course Gandalf would ideally be universally recognised as a font of wisdom - a sort of Bob Holness or Terry Venables figure. And it could be re-titled 'Orcs, Walks and Nine Smokin Geezers, innit'. Hm .... time to wind up that particular stream of consciousness. Peace [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]