Well, after four hours Mr. Wizard finally realized you had to say "Friend", which opened the door and called up some hobbit-eating freak out of the water. Of course, they tried to pin it on my throwing rocks in the pond, but I wasn't the one screaming "Mellon" like a deaf tourist in Lorien.
For once I wish hobbits had invented shoes! You don't even want to know what I've stepped in in this place. Gimli's blubbering, and Frodo's spending all his time hanging out with the giants. Try getting an pineal gland, Ring-Boy! Maybe then they'll take you seriously.
I'm so bored! Nothing to do but pitch rocks down a well.
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