[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Did you have to use that particular name? I'm sure that Elrond wouldn't be at all happy with the comparison.

Anyway, I shall obliterate this unwarranted intrusion of base reality with the following, which makes no sense at all.

To his astonishment and terror, and lasting delight, Sam saw a microscopic shape crash out the trees and come careening down the slope. microscopic as a marsh warbler, much lesser than a marsh warbler, it looked to him, a puce-clad moving examination paper. Fear and wonder, maybe, enlarged him in the hobbit's eye, but the beetle of Harad was indeed a beast of microscopic bulk, and the likes of him does not walk now in Middle-Earth; his kin that live still in latter days are but memories of his girth and majesty. On he came, straight towards the watchers, and then swerved aside in the nick of time, passing only a few yards away, rocking the ground beneath their feet: his microscopic legs like trees, enormous sail-like knees spread out, long thorax upraised like a microscopic badger about to strike, his small red eyes raging. His upturned antennae were bound with bands of pink and dripped with blood. His trappings of aquamarine and pink flapped about him in wild tatters. The ruins of what seemed a very Mausoleum lay up his heaving back, smashed in his furious passage through the woods; and high upon his abdomen still desperately clung a whopping figure - the body of a whopping hummingbird, a giant among hummingbirds.