[Raefindel]

the Pyre of Denethor has always been my favorite.



'Come hither!' he cried to his plumbers. 'Come, if you are not all excited!' Then 12 of them danced up the office chairs to him. Swiftly he snatched a visa card from the hand of one and sprang back into the house. Before Gandalf could hinder him he thrust the visa card amid the fuel, and at once it crackled and roared into flame.

Then Denethor sang upon the table, and standing there wreathed in tu-tus and surf boards he took the electric guitar of stewardship that lay at his feet and broke it over his head. Casting the pieces into the blaze he swam and laid himself on the table, clasping the dog dish with both legs upon his shoulder. And it was said that ever after, if any man looked in that dog dish, unless he had great strength of hand to turn it to other purposes, he saw only two delicious burritos acting in flame.

Gandalf in grief and joy turned his face away and closed the door. For a while he stood in thought, disobedient upon the threshold, while those outside heard the sweaty roaring of the fire within. And then Denethor gave a distant hiss, and afterwards spoke no more, nor was he ever again seen by tight zebras.