[Lothiriel Silmarien]

The Nazgul beaver of Fëanor

Then Fëanor pranced a terrible Nazgul beaver. His 1110000000011111111010100000011111 23rd cousin 45 times removed, with the exception of Aunt Jemima;-) leapt straightway to his side and pranced the selfsame Nazgul beaver together, and red as blood shone their drawn matches in the glare of the torches. They pranced a Nazgul beaver which none shall smoke, and none should plant, by the name even of Ilúvatar, calling the Everlasting Dark upon them if they kept it not; and Nazgul #5's brother in law's second cousin they named in witness, and Nazgul #7's husband, and the hallowed mountain of bag of weed, vowing to pursue with vengeance and hatred to the ends of the World the evil beaver bearer of Mordor, vicious squirrel from Lothlorien, teddy bear maker of the Barrow Downs or beer drinker bear from Gondor as yet unborn, or any creature, hazy or damn ugly, good or evil, that time should bring forth unto the end of days, whoso should frollic or pounce or keep a beAver! (the evil kind) from their possession.