[Anything but Arwen]

This thread seems to be pushing the boundaries of tastefulness (is that a word?!)...
But, its fun... [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Hama, for some bizarre reason, has journeyed into the pits of Hithaeglir, and stumbled upon a massive underground lake, and met a nasty, pale, twisted creature called Gollum. Hama, clearly wishing to return home, has managed to negotiate a deal with Gollum, whereby if he asks a riddle Gollum cannot answer, he will be led out. But, if Hama cannot answer Gollum's challenge, he will be eaten..

Gollum hissed in Hama's direction. "Riddleses, my precious, yess...ask us then, why doesnt it?"
Hama gulped, searching his mind for a riddle.
"Er...er.." he stammered, unil struck by a flash of inspiration.
"What is full of knowledge, yet knows nothing?"

"Ack...precious, this we know..books! Books, our grandmother used to read them to us, yess..now we must think of a riddle for it, yess..ah.." Gollum leered in the dark, confident in his answer.
"A slithering snake that cuts into the land, shaping it without claw or hand, or swimming swiftly into the sea, a serpent so powerful, what could it be?"

Luckilly, Hama had heard a similar riddle befoe, and answered easily.
"Simple!" he said. "Its a river.."

Gollum hissed impatently. "Yess, yess, the snaking stream...ask us then, precious!"

Hama thought for a moment. "Alright..My sides are firmly laced about, yet nothing have I within, you'll find my head is straight indeed, 'tis nothing else but skin."

"Ssss! Hard it is, precious.. Gollum, gollum ...laced and skin..why! Drumses! The horrible orcses beat them in their caves, we see them we do.." spat Gollum, rocking back and forth.

Hama was beginning to lose his confidence.
"Ah. Yes. Oh dear. Your turn.."

Gollum suddenly thought of an old, old riddle that he had been asked long ago.
"Sss... What is yours, forever and anon, yet used by others even after you're gone? "
Hama's mind went blank. "Um. Er. Um..."

"Hurry, hurry, we are hungry, we are hungry precious..."

Hama simply could not think of an answer. One thing kept coming to his mind, and although uncertain, he eventually said it.
"Um. Um..your horse?"

Gollum squealed with delight. "No! No precious no!! It is your name! *cackle* And now, precious, we eat..." He slipped unseen to Hama's side, licking his lips.

Hama, was understandably nervous, and in vain tried to talk his way out of it.
"Er...cant we come to some understandin-ARRRRGH!!!!"

[img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

Sorry. I just always felt so sorry for poor little Smeagol...he was expecting a snack from Bilbo, so I decided to give him a gormet meal... [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

EDIT: Edited out of script format, to appease BW!

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 1:08 PM January 04, 2004: Message edited by: Anything but Arwen ]