[Oddwen]

(heck, why don't I do it?)

*The Three Hunters walk into the woods, and look warily about them*

Gimli: *picks at a leaf* Mmm, spearamint!

Legs: *stares absentmindedly at a tree*

Aragorn: These are strange tracks! They read...like strange tracks.

L: I think that I shall never see, a poem lovely as a tree...

G: *crunch crunch*

L: This forest is old. Very old. Older than I am.

A: Goodness sakes!

L: *deadly glare* It's full of memory. And anger.

A: And you're full of beans.

L: Gimli! Stop eating the plants! They don't like it!

G: Who doesn't like it?

L: My elven senses are tingling.

A: What is it?

L: My foot's asleep.

G: Hmm, that's funny, I think I feel the presence of a great, powerful person.

A: Try rubbing it.

GreatPowerfulPerson: Eh?

L: Ooh, it's tingling!

GPP: What?

A: Strike it against something.

GPP: I beg your pardon! I have not passed through fire and water to bandy crooked words with witless worms!

G: Uh, guys?

L: Ah, I feel life in me again!

A: Oh, hello Saruman! What...GREAT GALLOPIN' GOLLUM! *leaps onto Leggy's shoulders and screams*

GPP: Uhh, aren't you supposed to be looking for two young hobbits?

G: Miserable trickster! What have you done with our friends?? *grabs his axe and deftly hacks of bits and pieces of GPP's clothes, all the while humming and absentmindedly examining his fingernails*

GPP: Gimli, you idiot! *tries to hold pants up* Don't you recognize me? I'm Gandalf!!

G, L, & A: ...

G: Oops...here's your suspenders...

Gandy: *huff*

L: Forgive me while I kneel....I think my other foot's asleep...

A: Hey, wait a minute...didn't you fall?

Gandy: Yes, I did. I fell through fire..................AND WATER!

*flashback: fight with Bill the Balrog*

Gandy: And I cast him from the high space, and smashed him against the mountainside. And then I strayed through................SPACE! And then..............THROUGH TIME! And every stinkin' day took longer than it takes Legolas here to wash his hair.

G & A: WHOA!

Gandy: Then I wandered through space and time, to another dimention. A dimention of sight, of sound, and of mind. At the signpost up ahead, my next stop was the Twilight Zone. I relived the horror of William Shatner in "Terror at 20,000 Feet", slept as long as they in "The Rip Van Winkle Caper", and was batted about by the whim of Eru as if he were the boy in "It's A Good Life".

G&A&L: Zzzzz...

Gandy: And then I was sent back for a brief time for good behavior. Hello?

A: Zzz*snork* wha? Oh. One thing hasn't changed, old guy. You still talk on, and on, and on, and on, and on...

G: So, do we go after the hobbits now? Please? I think that tree is giving me a dirty look.

Tree: Hoom!

Gandy: No, maybe not right away. We've got to go to Edoras.

A: Why?

Gandy: Because I said so, that's why! I'm Saruman as he should have been, cuz if you haven't noticed he's a very very very bad guy. And he's got a spy in the royal halls, and if we do not act soon, the great pizza stores of Rohan may be sucked into the vaccuum of the fires of industry, and the iron fist of the orc.

A&L&G: *gasp!*

G: What're we waiting for??

A: Let's go!

L: Guys, my hand is asleep!

(Ok, I'll stop rambling. Next scene, if ya wanna go EE, is Gandalf's royal talk with Aragorn, or the scene with Shadowfax)

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 3:26 AM December 07, 2003: Message edited by: Oddwen ]