[Oddwen]

*Merry and Pippin rush inside Fangorn*

Merry: *wheeze* I think we lost 'em! *pant*

Pip: That's good. *gasp!*

Grishnak: Wait up! You-

Merry: Run!

*They both run, but the orc is catching up, in spite of his deadly wound. Merry sees that it's hopeless to outrun him and tries to save Pippin.*

Merry: Climb a tree, Pippin!

Pip: I don't wanna!

Merry: Climb it!

Pip: You can't make me!

Merry: CLIMB THE TREE IF YOU VALUE YOUR SOUL!

Pip: Eh? I didn't know that hobbits could cl-
*Merry grabs him and throws him twenty feet up. He tries to climb up himself, but is suddenly grabbed from behind. Grishnak stands over him and growls menacingly*

Pip: MERRR-RRYYYYYYY!!!

*Suddenly, the tree he has been so violently thrown up in starts to move!*

Tree: Humm??

Pip: Ugh!
*The tree drops him to his death. Miraculously, he appears back in its branches unharmed*

Grish: I just wanted to tell you that you dropped your wal-
*But he is cut short by Pippin falling on him and is crushed*

Merry: Wha?

Tree: *picks them both up and surveys them curiously* Little orcs, burarom!

Merry: AHH! Where??

Tree: *blinks* Er, well, you I thought...

Pip: Nah.

Merry: We're hobbits!

Both: We're hobbits, we're hobbits, we're hobbits by rights! We eat all day and we eat all night-

Tree: No, no singing! I allow no singing in MY forest!

Merry: It's your forest? You must be an Ent! A shepherd of the forest! An Onodrim! Why, one of the very beings that Yavanna sent to the world to guard the woods from evildoers! You must be older than the very hills!

Tree: My my, aren't you the scholarly type? My name, little orcs, is Treebeard.

Pip: Whose side are you on?

Treebeard: Well, I tend to stray away from left-wing policies, but I'm not really on anybody's side. For you see, that nobody is on my side.

Pip: Not even playing softball?

Treebeard: Huh?

Merry: You'll have to excuse him. He's a little slow.

TB: Oh. No problem. I have the same problem with Saruman.

Pip: The White Wizard?

TB: Yep. *he suddenly dumps them in front of the only clean person in the entire trilogy*

Both: Wow!

(Next scene, unless you want to parody the meeting between the White Wiz, is "The Black Gate is Closed")