[Nimrothiel]

I would:

turn Gollum into a fish and have him eat himself to death.

make the Verizon guy immortal and put him in Orthanc; it'd drive Saruman nuts. ("Can you hear me now? Good!" "Why can't you just die?!!") [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

make the Ring keep disappearing and reappearing at random. ("It's gone! Wait, it's back. It's gone again!")

switch the voices of the Fellowship around at random; Gandalf would sound like Merry, Legolas would sound like Gimli, etc...

have Gandalf and Saruman lose their hair. [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

That's enough for now.