[Halbereth Diagona]

If a....
Nazgul came to my door: I'd say...Those robes are sooooo last year, mate. Doesn't this Sauron guy pay you properly....I mean, they look like my nan's old curtains.
Then I would run like the blazes....
Hobbit: I'd say: Heya...you want some tea? Then I'd be really cool....depending on what hobbit it was, if it was Sam I'd have to ask for some gardening tips. If it was Frodo I'd kick him down the hill....I hate frodo.
Elf: Wheeee! Well, I'd gasp, then collect myself and say 'Heya mate. You look hot...want a drink?' Then I'd give them a drink and beg them to take me to whereever they were going.
Any of the actors: Blimey....I think I'd say summat like...You wanna drink? Then I'd find out all about LOTR...then they'd invite me to star in a re-make of LOTR, where Merry's sibling comes along too....and I'd say 'Yeah, well...I'm a bit busy right now, but I'll ask my mum...' then I'd film it, and end up starring alongside Rupert Grint, and Britney, and live the movie star life happily ever after...sigh.