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Alatáriël Lossëhelin · 04-19-2003, 11:23 AM

Our originally scheduled guest, Eowyn, Princess of Rohan and Ithilien, was not able to be here. Our substitute guest today is Gollum/Smeagol, Middle-Earth's most well-know schizophrenic.

I: Welcome, G/S, we're glad you could make it today.

G/S: Thanksss for having uss, precciouss. We are not invited to many interviewss. Peopless only wantss to talk to the cutes oness.

I: We couldn't get any cutes..uh, cute..ones today. After watching the second movie, I noticed that you spent quite a bit of time ingratiating yourself to Frodo...

G/S: What'ss thiss ingr..what'ss it mean precciouss? Eh, what'ss it mean?

I: Sucking up.

G/S: Oh. Yesss, at firssst we wass only trying to makess him thinkss we are niccce, so we can have a chancess to steal our precciouss. But he was so nicce to uss, and soo cutess, precciouss. Yess he was. And we have been sso lonely. Yess we have...

I: Err, let's not get into that right now. There appeared to be quite a bit of antagonism between you and Sam. Was that for real, or were you two..uh, three..just acting?

G/S: We wass jusst acting. We really likees Sam. He cookses great fisssh.

G: Speaksss for yoursselfs. He wass sstupid, fat hobbit. Burntss good fisshess he did. Alwayss sspeakss mean to me.

S: He onlys sspeakss mean to you. Offsscreen, he is nicce to me. Hiss taterss are the besstesst.

G: You lie. You are only trying to sssuck up to him. It'sss degrading, precciosss.

S: You lie!! You're jussst jealousss, you are, becausse no one likess you!!

G: Wicked, trickssey, falssse! I hatess you Smeagol. You are alwayss sso mean to me. Jussst waitss. I'll make ssure ssshe getss rid of you too.

S: Masster, Ssam & Ssmeagol won't be going that way. I will tell Masster what you are plannings. We will find another way into Mordor.

G: Why you ssneakys little...

::The interview ends as Smeagol/Gollum begins punching and choking himself. Security has to be called to separate them.::

I: Well, that was...different. I'm not sure who won that argument. Maybe we'd better send a copy of this video to Frodo and Sam as a heads-up. Tune in next time when that fool of a Took..uh, sorry, Peregrin Took, gives us a few wizard-wheedling tips.

04-19-2003, 11:23 AM	#24
Alatáriël Lossëhelin Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Road to Rivendell: 2491 miles from Hobbiton, with Frodo and Sam, homeward bound Posts: 365	Our originally scheduled guest, Eowyn, Princess of Rohan and Ithilien, was not able to be here. Our substitute guest today is Gollum/Smeagol, Middle-Earth's most well-know schizophrenic. I: Welcome, G/S, we're glad you could make it today. G/S: Thanksss for having uss, precciouss. We are not invited to many interviewss. Peopless only wantss to talk to the cutes oness. I: We couldn't get any cutes..uh, cute..ones today. After watching the second movie, I noticed that you spent quite a bit of time ingratiating yourself to Frodo... G/S: What'ss thiss ingr..what'ss it mean precciouss? Eh, what'ss it mean? I: Sucking up. G/S: Oh. Yesss, at firssst we wass only trying to makess him thinkss we are niccce, so we can have a chancess to steal our precciouss. But he was so nicce to uss, and soo cutess, precciouss. Yess he was. And we have been sso lonely. Yess we have... I: Err, let's not get into that right now. There appeared to be quite a bit of antagonism between you and Sam. Was that for real, or were you two..uh, three..just acting? G/S: We wass jusst acting. We really likees Sam. He cookses great fisssh. G: Speaksss for yoursselfs. He wass sstupid, fat hobbit. Burntss good fisshess he did. Alwayss sspeakss mean to me. S: He onlys sspeakss mean to you. Offsscreen, he is nicce to me. Hiss taterss are the besstesst. G: You lie. You are only trying to sssuck up to him. It'sss degrading, precciosss. S: You lie!! You're jussst jealousss, you are, becausse no one likess you!! G: Wicked, trickssey, falssse! I hatess you Smeagol. You are alwayss sso mean to me. Jussst waitss. I'll make ssure ssshe getss rid of you too. S: Masster, Ssam & Ssmeagol won't be going that way. I will tell Masster what you are plannings. We will find another way into Mordor. G: Why you ssneakys little... ::The interview ends as Smeagol/Gollum begins punching and choking himself. Security has to be called to separate them.:: I: Well, that was...different. I'm not sure who won that argument. Maybe we'd better send a copy of this video to Frodo and Sam as a heads-up. Tune in next time when that fool of a Took..uh, sorry, Peregrin Took, gives us a few wizard-wheedling tips. __________________ "It's impossible to have Frodo without Sam, or Sam without Frodo. They're like two halves of one heart..." "If your hurts grieve you still and the memory of your burden is heavy, then you may pass into the West..."