[Mirabella]

Vallery Valley is Back!!

V V: Well, I try. Now, for our first quest- I meen question, like, how long have you been living in this most tarrible of places, the dark tower of Barad-Dur?

S: Well, I began construction in the Second Age 1000, but I've only been living here since Second Age 1600.

V V: Wow! That's, like, a long time!!!! (Cracks gum) Second age, you say? So, like, what I want to know is, like, how long have you been collecting jewelry?

S: Huh?

V V: Well, okay, so, like, see, I'v been hearing a lot about this Ring, thing.What's up with that, anyway?

S: Oh, that's the One Ring of Power-

V V: Power? As in, like, the Power Puff Girls?

S: NO! As the Power to take over the world!
As I was saying, I forged it in secret without telling the Elves, but then that stupid little man took it away from me...

V V: Oh, like, I'm sooo sorry!!! Well, we gotta get on with this, so... Have you ever been, like, defeated?

S: Err... Yes, actually, befor the stupid little man took my Ring. It was those stupid little Numenoreans. But I got back at them!

V V: Really? (Cracks gum) Hey, dude, like, were you involved in the fall of Numenor?

S: Why, yes...I-well, it's a long story, see, these stupid little Numenoreans attacked me, and they took me back to their stupid little island, so I decided to make them distroy their stupid little island.

V V: Wow!!!! Dude, like, how did you, like, do that?

S: Emm... I conviced the king that he could take over the land of Valinor, which, of course, he couldn't! So the Vaelor, Valar, what ever their names are, they made the stupid little island sink beneath the sea.

V V: Dude, that is like, soooooo neat!!! So, why are you obsessed with this hobbit, Dodo, or Modo, or- like, what is his name, anyway?

S: His name is Frodo Baggins, and the reason I have all my spies searching for him, day and night, is because HE HAS MY RING!!!!

V V: But I thought you said a stupid little man had it...

S: He took it. But then he got killed, and my Ring fell into a river, and then this thing called a Gollum grabed it, and then this hobbit Bilbo found it in a cave, and then he gave it to his nephew Frodo, so now Frodo has it.

V V: Oh wow!!! You, like, know so much about it!!! Dude, so, like, what I want to know is, like, how did this Ring come to be?

S: I ALREADY TOLD YOU!!! I FORGED IT, YOU STUPID LITTLE CHEERLEADER!!!!!!!

V V: Dude! There's, like, no reason to be yelling at me!!! Hey, dude, did you just, like, pop a blood vessel in your eye or something,cause it's, like, really red?

S: (Raspy wheezy growling sound)

V V: Well, uh, like, gotta go! Like, see ya! Bye! (Hurried footsteps, door slams)

S: Hmm... That girl was very infuriating. I wonder if she would like to meet my friend Shelob... Oh dear. She forgot her tape recorder... I had better get one of my orcs to return it to her, befor she comes back to get it...