[Mornie Alantie]

Faramir: Bind there hands.

Frodo: Nooo!

Faramir: yes!

Frodo: no

Faramir: YES!

Frodo: NO!

Faramir: Yes!

Frodo: Yes!

Faramir: No!

Sam: Well, you heard him!

Faramir: gag the little beasts as well.

Frodo: But you said no!?

Faramir:Shut up! Does it matter? I say yes now!

Sam: So "yes" to letting us go?

*smoke starts pouring out of Faramir's ears and nose*

Frodo: I think we should go.

Sam: Alright, but just this once.

*goes to Henneth Anon*

Faramir: My men tell me you are orc spies.

Sam: how did they guess it with our discusses!?!?!?

*Frodo elbows him real hard*

Sam: Ok i'll shut up.

Faramir: Speak!

Frodo: We are hobbits of the shire. Frodo Baggins is my name.

Faramir: Who are you? his bodyguard?

Sam: His Gardener.

Faramir: You don't say, well maybe you could help me. You see I got these weeds in my gar-.....

Frodo: Its really important that you let us go.

Faramir: As I was saying.....

Sam: If you let us go I'll....

Faramir: Silence! The Gardener shall go to Gondor!

Sam: Now what do we do?

Frodo: I don't know get your shovel.

Sam: Give in just like that?

Frodo: No! Hit him over the head with it and run!

*Frodo feels an arm on his shoulder.*

Faramir: you must come with me.

*Sam, Frodo and Faramir go to ledge with gollum below*

Faramir: To enter the fobiden pool bears the penalty of death!

Gollum: Rock and pool is nice and cool so juicy sweeeeeeet! ugh, what we givesss for a grill to cook nice fishessssss on!

Faramir: Shall I shot?

Sam: Don't mind if you do.

*gets elbowed real hard by Frodo.*

Sam: Uuuugh....ow.

Frodo: Wait! He is are guide! please let me go down to him.

Gollum: Ugh, its so slimy, wheres a fork I wonder?

Frodo: Smeagol!

Gollum: go away im eating, Darn telemarketers!

Frodo: Smeagol you must come with me!

Gollum: No! Dinner first!

*Frodo pauses a moment and thinks*

Frodo: For a limited time offer, you can get this SHINY new Grill! Comes with stand, grill, and um, a lifetime supply of fish!

Gollum: Where isss it!!!!!!!!!! Itsss ourss it isssss!!!!!!!

Frodo: come over here and see this luxurious Grill!

*Gollum rushes over and gets cought.*

Faramir: Where were you leading them. Answer!

Gollum: Actually at the moment I was taking them to a good spot with a lot of herbs, veggies, and watermelon!

Faramir: Really! say, what do you usually use is cabbage stew?

Gollum: Cabbage.

Faramir: Extrodinary, you know, I would have never thought of it!

Gollum: ...........................Stupid fat Gardener.

Faramir: Do you cook a lot?

Gollum: O yes, but Frodo there, He won the grand cook award. Jerk! He stole it form Us!

*latter on by Sam and Frodo*

Faramir: so this is the answer to all the riddle. Here I am with two halflings, and a host of men at my call, with the grandest cook awarded within my graspe!

Frodo: NO!!!!!

Sam: Don't you understand! he's going to mordor! to the mountain of fire. To challenge the Dark cook of the almond ring!

Faramir: Gasp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Faramir: We must go to Gondor!

*at osgiliath Nazgul appears Frodo runs upon bridge*

Frodo: Foul Nazcook of Sourcook! I challenge you or leave!

Nazcook: Fine!

*Frodo and Nazcook both wip together gormet meals. Faramir and Sam Judge*

Faramir: Gasp..........Nazcook take a breathmint, Your blackbreath stinks!

Nazcook: sorry.

Frodo: Well who wins?

Sam and Faramir: Well *gulp* Frodo we ahve to give it to you. Sorry Nazcook, you should have used Rosemary not Thyme.