One day, while I walking down the primrose path and generally minding my own business, I encountered a burning bush that said:
www.barrowdowns.com shall tell you your Elven name, but shall simultaneously cure you of your embarrassing fetish for skinny English actors from Canterbury, by brainwashing you to read the Silmarillion, just to seem cooler to those who have read it. There might be free beer in the offing as well.
"Well, if I get to seem cooler..." I thought...
And the rest is history.
Though I am still waiting for that free beer.