The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum - Better cast/Disaster cast

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- - Better cast/Disaster cast (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=8826)

as eowyn

01-03-2001 03:05 PM

Better cast/Disaster cast

Okay I was afraid to do this while the movies were still filming (not sure why just a foreboding) but now that their done here go's. 1. If you could go back and be the caster who would you have chosen for. . .? (1)The nine walkers (2)Galadriel (3)Bilbo (4)Eowyn (5)Arwen And anyone else you would like. 2. Chose the worst posible actors/actreses you can think of to play the above. Me and some of my Tolkienly inclined friends did this and it was great! So try it out express your feelings with 1. and have fun with 2.

The Barrow-Wight

01-03-2001 04:19 PM

This really weird 70's theme hit me when I saw this question. And I just had to share it. 1) The nine walkers: The cast of the Brady Bunch (including Alice). Gollum would be that kid that played cousin Oliver. 2)Galadriel: Chrissy from Three's Company (a FotR chapter title, sort of) 3)Bilbo: Don Knotts 4)Eowyn: Janet from Three's Company (There it is again!) 5)Arwen: Cheryl Ladd (A Charlie's Angel) I don't have a BEST list yet. The Barrow-Wight (RKittle) I usually haunt <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com">The Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi">Middle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000002>RKittle</A>  at: 1/4/01 6:09:23 am

Orald

01-03-2001 11:38 PM

That is real cute, I wish I could come up with such an All-Star cast, but I can't.

Gwaihir the Windlord

01-04-2001 02:36 AM

This is above me. But the worst actor for Aragorn (in the Medeavil field of acting) would be the guy that played the dragonslayer in Dragonheart. Gwaihir the Windlord <A href="http://www.barrowdowns.com">the barrow-downs</A> 'Sing now, ye people of the Tower of Anor, for the Realm of Sauron is ended for ever, and the Dark Tower is thrown down.'

as eowyn

01-04-2001 02:26 PM

oh come on RKittle thats was wonderful! But the rest of you come on, please just try. I agree with Gwaihir, he would be terrible, but I think Don Knotts would be worse as Arogorn.

Mister Underhill

01-04-2001 03:47 PM

Re: Better cast/Disaster cast Made-for-TV LotR: Aragorn = David Hasselhoff Galadriel = Jaclyn Smith (second choice: Jane Seymour) Gandalf = Wilford Brimley Gimli = Danny DeVito Legolas = Stuart French Boromir = Scott Baio Faramir = Noah Wylie [Note: no budget for expensive digital effects, so we have to go with short actors for the Hobbits.] Frodo = Michael J. Fox Sam = Joe Pesci Merry = Luke Perry Pippin = Jason Priestly Gollum = David Spade Arwen = Carmen Electra Éomer = Dolph Lundgren Elrond = Harry Hamlin The Gaffer = Jerry Stiller (George's Dad on Seinfeld) ...and introducing Britney Spears as Éowyn

Mister Underhill

01-05-2001 01:34 PM

Re: Better cast/Disaster cast Since everyone seems to have been stunned into speechlessness by my made-for-TV cast, let me introduce my all-black cast into the resounding silence. Gandalf = Morgan Freeman Gollum = Urkel Frodo = Will Smith Sam = Chris Rock Pippin = Marlon Wayans Merry = Omar Epps Aragorn = Denzel Washington Boromir = LL Cool J Faramir = Cuba Gooding Jr. Legolas = Taye Diggs Gimli = Roc Galadriel = Whitney Houston Theoden = Danny Glover Denethor = Bill Duke Saruman = Samuel L. Jackson Elrond = Robert Guillaume Éowyn = Angela Bassett Arwen = Tyra Banks

onewhitetree

01-05-2001 08:41 PM

What I would have chosen: (1)The nine walkers: You're not supposed to see their faces, so what does it matter? (2)Galadriel: Michelle Pfeiffer (3)Bilbo: That cute little guy from "Willow" (4)Eowyn: Maybe Drew Barrymore? (5)Arwen: Sophie Marceau Worst: (1)The nine walkers: either The Jackson 5, *NSync, or the Green Bay Packers (2)Galadriel: Roseanne (3)Bilbo: David Suchet (the guy from Poirot) (4)Eowyn: That girl from 3rd Rock (5)Arwen: ...other than Liv? maybe Yoko Ono? At second glance, that last list looks pretty sweet. Every leaf a miracle ~ The woods are lovely, dark, and deep I am Administrator at <a href=http://pub43.ezboard.com/bfangornforest>Fangorn Forest</a>! I am also a great fan of <a href=http://pub23.ezboard.com/bminasmorgul>Minas Morgul</a> and <a href=http://pub29.ezboard.com/btolkiencommunity87810>Planet Tolkien</a>.

coprophage7

01-08-2001 01:34 PM

Worst List Here's my attempt at a worst list: Gandalf: Adam Sandler Aragorn: Keanu Reeves Arwen: Madonna Galadriel: Pamela Anderson Frodo: Gary Coleman It's short and incomplete, but I'll think of more later. Good list....hmm....

The Barrow-Wight

01-08-2001 04:17 PM

Re: Worst List Gary Coleman is a great addition to any cast. I wish he really was in the movie. He could play any of the little guys. The Barrow-Wight (RKittle) I usually haunt <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com">The Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi">Middle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.

coprophage7

01-09-2001 09:46 AM

It would have helped him out of financial troubles, so I guess it's not that bad....

as eowyn

01-12-2001 01:40 PM

. . . Britney as Eowyn?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Onewhitetree, The nine walkers not the nine riders. You know the fellowship.

the Lorien wanderer

01-12-2001 10:16 PM

Re: . . . The worst: Aragorn - Nick Carter Galadriel - Lucy Liu Gandalf - Danny Devito Frodo - Arnold! Legolas - Denzel Washington Sam - the day receptionist at the YMCA, Orchard Road, Singapore Arwen - Madonna Ugh. Liv is starting to look pretty good actually. Not all those who wander are lost.

Zoe	01-16-2001 01:54 AM

Disaster Cast I would have thought that Arnold would be chosen as Aragorn... Gandalf - that guy who played Willy Wonka in that crap adaptation of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Frodo - Leonardo di Caprio Pippin/Sam, can't decide which - the kid from Home Alone Sauron - Britney Spears (yes, a female Sauron. I'm being politically correct. Or is it just a dislike of Ms Spears? ) Eowyn - Madonna

The Barrow-Wight

01-16-2001 09:09 AM

Re: Disaster Cast I missed the crap version of that film, because the movie starring Gene Wilder is great!!!! The Barrow-Wight (RKittle) I usually haunt <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com">The Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi">Middle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.

Mister Underhill

01-16-2001 11:08 AM

Re: Disaster Cast Zoe, you should open your mouth a little wider when you speak. Ha! Looks like we have a bad egg here, BW. Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000005>Mister Underhill</A> at: 1/16/01 12:09:24 pm

as eowyn

01-22-2001 01:18 PM

Re As a movie it wasn't so bad but if you have read the book it is MUCH better.

Zoe	01-22-2001 07:28 PM

Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory The movie made me cringe too often, that's all. I suppose if it wasn't meant to be anything like the book, it'd be okay. Just.

Sharkû

01-28-2001 02:16 PM

Re: Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory Rowan Atkinson would be the Wormtongue of my dreams. I think anybody who knows him not only as Mr Bean but also as Black Adder may understand. <h6> A furore Normannorum / libera nos domine / summa pia gratia / nostra conservando / corpora et custodia / de gente fera / normannica nos / libera quae nostra / vastat deus regna </h6>

Mister Underhill

01-30-2001 01:01 AM

Re: Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory The Black Adder as Wormtongue! Brilliant! Now that you've got me thinking along international lines, I'll put up Roberto Benigni as my choice for Gollum.

Sharkû

01-30-2001 08:10 AM

Re: Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory Walther Matthau may have been a nice hobbit; e.g. a grumpy one, like Sandyman; or the Gaffer. <h6> A furore Normannorum / libera nos domine / summa pia gratia / nostra conservando / corpora et custodia / de gente fera / normannica nos / libera quae nostra / vastat deus regna </h6>

Mister Underhill

01-30-2001 01:39 PM

Re: Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory Oliver Reed as the Old Took, and still thinking along international lines, Tchéky Karyo as the Mouth of Sauron.

Sharkû

01-30-2001 02:01 PM

Re: Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory Morgan Freeman as the Black Serpent <h6> A furore Normannorum / libera nos domine / summa pia gratia / nostra conservando / corpora et custodia / de gente fera / normannica nos / libera quae nostra / vastat deus regna </h6>

Mister Underhill

01-30-2001 02:33 PM

Re: Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory Al Pacino as Uglúk; Jonathan Pryce as Grishnákh. BTW, I think Kevin Spacey would make a good Wormtongue, too. Come to think of it, Spacey would definitely make a better Grishnákh than Pryce. Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000005>Mister Underhill</A> at: 1/30/01 3:43:32 pm

The Barrow-Wight

01-30-2001 02:47 PM

Soundtrack Should the soundtrack be completely composed by DEVO or would it be best to be a compilation of the top 20 MTV TRL bands? Choices like these are hard to make! The Barrow-Wight (RKittle) I usually haunt <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com">The Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi">Middle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.

Mister Underhill

01-30-2001 02:52 PM

Re: Soundtrack You are an evil Wight! Hmm... maybe they could revive Kenny Loggins's career and hire him to compose the soundtrack. Keeping with the international theme: Jackie Chan as Ghân-buri-Ghân.

The Barrow-Wight

01-30-2001 03:08 PM

Re: Kenny Loggins!!! Kenny Loggins!! Awesome! Hobbits dance the Springle-Ring at Bilbo's Farewell Party Every hobbit cut loose, footloose. (Footloose) "Feetloose!" Shouts an old hobbit!. At the charge of the Rohirrim! Riding right into the Pelennor! (Danger Zone) Close the movie with Sam's return to Bag End. I'm alright! Don't nobody worry 'bout me.(I'm Alright) And you say I'm evil, Mr. Underhill. You are diabolical to even think this! The Barrow-Wight (RKittle) I usually haunt <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com">The Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi">Middle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000002>RKittle</A>  at: 1/30/01 4:11:29 pm

Mister Underhill

01-30-2001 03:24 PM

Re: Kenny Loggins!!! ROTFLMAO!!! Is it too late to lobby to put the Barrow Downs sequence back in the movie? Playing With the Boys As Frodo et al caper about nude on the Downs (in slow motion, of course) while Tom goes to get them fresh clothes. Mister Underhill wipes the tears from his eyes... "Feetloose!" Ah, that is brilliant, brilliant stuff.

Zoe	01-30-2001 11:38 PM

Re: Kenny Loggins!!! "Feetloose"! Lol! Perhaps, seeing as the movie was filmed in NZ, the soundtrack could be composed by New Zealand bands. Except I can't think of any as examples...

KayQy

02-01-2001 12:40 PM

New Zealand Bands I know of a NZ band called the Lads. Their album is called Lost @ Sea, and some of the songs would be good, though I'm not sure where in the story they'd fit. A couple of their songs have been played on Dawson's Creek, though I'm not sure that recommends them to anyone here... The days are fated to be filled with marvels.

Orald

02-01-2001 02:06 PM

Re: New Zealand Bands I can't see a soundtrack being very good for LotR, unless it was Kenny Loggins or maybe Bonnie Tyler(I need a Hero/Hobbit) or how about Men at Work.

The Barrow-Wight

02-01-2001 02:24 PM

Re: Bonnie Tyler Bonnie Tyler! Another great suggestion! Wow! We are a smart bunch. She also did "Total Eclipse of the Heart", right? Dunno why, but Bonnie brings Eowyn to mind. Perhaps she should have played Eowyn and sang the funeral dirge of Theoden. I just had a totally unrelated thought. Do you realize that when the movies are released, sitcoms will do small parodies of them to get a laugh (dream sequences and such). Further, cartoons will jump on the bandwagon. Which brings me to the epiphany that jumpstarted this paragraph - The Chipmunks! These are the people that should have played the hobbits. And Dave would be Gandalf. "Pippin!"..... "Pippin".... Piiiiiiipppppeeennnn!" And just imagine them performing the songs sung by the hobbits. The Barrow-Wight (RKittle) I usually haunt <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com">The Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi">Middle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.

Orald

02-01-2001 07:32 PM

Re: Bonnie Tyler Now I'm ROFL. I wonder what the SNL skits will be like?

Mister Underhill

02-05-2001 05:23 PM

More Inspired Casting LL Cool J as Tom Bombadil! Who else could pull off Tom's outlandish wardrobe and tricky rhymes and not be completely ridiculous as "The Master"? Reshoots! It's not too late!

Samwise of the shire

02-08-2001 06:45 PM

Re: Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory You said >>The movie made me cringe too often, that's all. I suppose if it wasn't meant to be anything like the book, it'd be okay. Just. << I hope we aren't all disappointed in the LOTR movies, because I doubt they'll follow the books very closely. :-)

Samwise of the shire

02-09-2001 07:47 PM

Re:better/disater cast I think that Britney Speares as Eowen would be absoulutly out of the question I personally thing she would make an exellent Barrow wight (no offense to the barrow wight)ButI cant understand why no one likes Liv Taylor though.Why do people not like her?Is it her acting?The way she looks?What? As for the hobbits (from the pics I've seen) I think the actors look remarkably like hobbits,and will do an exxelent job as hobbits Samwise

The Barrow-Wight

02-09-2001 08:08 PM

Re: Re:better/disater cast It is my wightish (no offense, sam) opinion that Liz's chief talent lies in here ability to open her eyes in a sultry way. Otherwise, I haven't witnessed anything to set her apart from other actors. The Barrow-Wight (RKittle) I usually haunt <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com">The Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs <a href="http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi">Middle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.

Orald

02-11-2001 03:22 PM

Re: Re:better/disater cast Well, if Arwen wouldn't have had an expanded role in the first place, I can still tell there are people out there that would not want her in the movies. Personally, I don't care who the heck it is, as long as they are close to the description Tolkien gives, and they have some acting experience. "It seems fate is not without a sense of irony."

KayQy

02-19-2001 02:15 PM

Re: Re:better/disater cast I just had a thought. Has Weird Al Yankovich done a LotR song yet?!? But tell me, who are you, alone, yourself and nameless?

Sharkû

02-20-2001 01:57 PM

Re: Re:better/disater cast Klaus Kinski as whomever... Gollum, Wormtongue, an orc, Saruman... *shivers*. The best Dracula ever. His insane glare, the cholerical outbursts of violence... <h6>Ah, listen to them... the children of the night... what sweet music they make...</h6>

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