LOTR comedy....(I like comedy!) anything comedy here!
 

Write any sort of comedy that has to do with LOTR! Like:

Frodo falls down the hill (when being chased by the Uruk-kai) and gets up and says: Now what # was that fall? Man, how did I get so clumsy?! *Thinks* Oh yeah I'm realated to Pippin!

At the Council of Elrond, Frodo bravely stands forth amid the tumult, saying: "Could you excuse me for a couple of minutes: call of nature"

(In farmer maggot's crops)

Sam: Don't you leave him Samwise Gamgee, and I don't mean to.
Frodo: Sam were still in the Shire what could possibly happen?
(Two orcs come out of the crops)
Jackson: CUT CUT! Where is Dom and Billy?
Orc 1: Dom is doin his business..if you follow me.
Orc 2: Billy went to the Bree site...he couldn't wait to get his pint.
Jackson: [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

In the middle of the scene with the Uruk-Hai attacking
Frodo: CUT! CUT! Cutcutcutcutcut!
PJ: Whaaaaat?
Frodo: Need my daily Lucas pill.
PJ: *smacks head*
*Frodo pulls out a bottle of Lucas and removes a gross looking pill* *he eats it*

For those of you who don't know, Lucas is a Mexican candy that can be spicy if you get the right kind. It is a kind of powder made of iodized salt, sugar, citrus acid, chili powder, and silicon dioxide. Doesn't the last one sound simply appetizing? [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

I saw that stuff b4..anyways you guys have some great ideas!

*Gimli grabs some Lemba and starts eating it, Frodo knocks it out his hand*
Frodo: Do you *know* just how many calories are in that thing?
[img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] lame i know

"This Ring, no other, is made by the elves,
Who'd pawn their own mother to grab it themselves. Ruler of creeper, mortal and scallop, this is a sleeper that packs quite a wollop. The Power almighty rests in this Lone Ring. The Power, alrighty for doing your Own Thing. If broken or busted it cannot be remaid. If found send to Saron (the postage is prepaid.) [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Heeheehee, you peeps crack me up! Have you ever had Lucas? It's sooooo gross! Adios!

Hobbit TorD:

Frodo: Ok Sam, truth or dare?
Sam: Hmmm...Dare me sucker!
Frodo: Oh this will be good! Let's see..I dare you to...Go up to Aragorn and PUNCH HIS LIGHTS OUT!
Sam: Alright
*Goes over to Aragron*
Sam: Hey Mr.Aragorn sir..
Aragorn: Yes?
Sam: Mind if I punch your lights out?
Frodo: Oi!
*Sam looks at Frodo*
Sam: Well just doin it without askin isn't polite you know

(Hahaha...ha.......ha not funny)

Sorry didn't have a quote and forgot to take the quote thing off

Heehee, funny, Samwise_Gamgee!

Accession of the Chosen
 

I thought of this when reading the Boromir's Death thread in The Books:

Gandalf: Well, technically you're the heir to the throne, but there could well be problems: you remember Denethor?

Aragorn: Ummmm...tall chap; big nose; bit of a prig? Think I met him when I was going through that mercenary phase.

Gandalf: That's the fellow. He won't like it, you know. They'd have to renovate that ridiculous throne for a start; there are mice nesting in it.

Aragorn: Anything we can do?

Gandalf: We could buy them a cat.

Aragorn: What about Denethor?

Gandalf: He's allergic to rodents.

Aragorn: You know what I mean.

Gandalf: Well, it would make things easier if he covered himself in lamp oil and burned himself to death, but that idiotic elder son of his could still be a problem. I suppose there's always a chance that he could die a glorious death at the hands of many enemies...

Aragorn: Can you swing that?

Gandalf: I'll see what I can do.

ROFL, Squatter! That's hillarious!

<Music-hall accent> Eyethangyou

How about:

Fangorn: I was going to step on you, but... Oh, sod it, I'm going to squash you anyway. Bloody hangover.

(splat, splat)

Any of the actors forget their lines...even funnier if it was Aragorn or Legolas or someone like them...
Legolas: He is Arathorn, son of Arag....damn, that's not right...
As Pippin knocks skeleton down well...anyone: I don't think you wanted to do that...

Heehee, Squatter and Halbereth!

Ably assisted by boredom, a bottle of Aberlour and my hard-back of The Lord of the Rings, I thought up the following:
'I cannot read the fiery letters,' said Frodo, in a quavering voice.
'No,' said Gandalf, 'but I can. The letters are Elvish, of an ancient mode, but the language is that of Mordor, which I will not utter here. But this in the Common Tongue is what is said, close enough:
Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkly?
Because if it was small, white and round it would be an aspirin
Both fell silent, feeling the presence of great evil.

Those are so funny!!

(Scene: Helm's Deep)

Legolas: Aragorn, I can't fight anymore. My bow is broken, my knives are stuck inside some guy's leg, and I think I sprained my ever-so-delicate wrist.

Gimli: Yeah Aragorn, I can not fight anymore either. My axe is blunt, my beautiful braids are stained with blood, and I lost my finger somewhere down by the stairs.
Where is Gandalf anyway? How come HE isn't fighting!!

Legolas: Yeah!!! Where is that useless old man!

Aragorn: Hey! Gandalf is a bery busy man! Do you not know what he does for us!? If it wasn't for his hard work his wisdom, we'd all be dead! Gandalf does a lot for us. He deserves a little more respect than that!

Legolas: Well, when you put it that way..

Gimli: Yeah,we're sorry.

(Back in Isengard....)

Gandalf: (smoking) Mmmm, this is the best weed.

Saruman: Yeah, ain't it? Oh, where is that wannabe king guy anyway? I thought he was here.

Gandalf: Who, Aragorn? Nah, that old fool is at Helm's Deep. HA! Thinks I'm doing something to help Middle-earth right now! Hehehehe.

Eh, it's not that funny, but I tried. I had a really good one before, but my computer disconnected me.

[ August 09, 2002: Message edited by: Lothiriel Silmarien ]

When gandalf first finds out about the ring.

Gandalf *Throws ring in the fire*: Take it Frodo, its quite cool. Tell me, what does it say.

Frodo: Nothing, wait , hold on- I see some letters. C...H...I...N...A...

PJ: NO YOU FOOL!!! ELIJAH, THINK!!!! THE FANCY RED WRITING, NOT THE SMALL PRINT ON THE INSIDE!!!! STUPID, YOU AND PIPPIN ARE THE SAME!! YEESH!!!

[ August 10, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ]

Nice ones, Squatter!

Here's mine:

Galadriel: Mirror, mirror in the glade, who's the fairest elven maid?

Mirror: (image of Arwen)

Galadriel: '*§?$%°/#~§!!! bird-bath!!!!!!!!!!

Wot's squatter?

Gimli: Fight? We are all children of the universe. Why should we fight when we could live in perfect harmony?

That's an interesting philosophical question, but I haven't been awake long enough to answer it: a squatter is one who squats.

I asked a phillysopical question...
most unlike me.

Ah, but to ask "What's squatter", is to ask for a definition of me. That's a difficult one, which is why I went for an unhelpfully self-referential definition of the word instead.

Back to the subject (most unlike me):
'It needs more to make a king than a piece of Elvish glass, or a rabble such as this. Why, any brigand of the hills can show as good a following'
'Yeah, well it takes more to make a messenger than...err...a message and...umm... someone to carry it'
'I can't believe you just said that', said the Mouth of Sauron and turned away in disgust.

I just thought of this, and I find it hilariously funny:
Boromir: I'm invicible!!!
Lurtz: You're a loony.

Well 'twas but a scratch.
Maybe Monty Python and the Rings of Power would be a good entry in the LoTR Spin-Offs thread.

[ August 10, 2002: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]

OMG, Squatter, that would be hilarious! I can see it now, Monty Python and the Rings of Power! Heeheehee...
Gollum: Those who wish to throw the ring into the chasm must answer me these questions three, ere the melting ring he see.
Boromir: Go ahead and ask me, Bridgekeeper, I'm not afraid.
Gollum: What is your name?
Boromir: Boromir, son of Denethor.
Gollum: What is your quest?
Boromir: I seek to ta-destroy the ring.

Gollum: What is the average wingspan of an eagle?
Boromir: Ah- I don't know that AUGH!

Oh yeah, that 'd be hilly-air-ee-us! Oooh. someone start it please!!

Well, it's really up to Squatter, but with his/her permission, I can try ot start a fanfic and RPG like it!

Start what?! What do you want to post here?!

You have his permission. Jolly decent of you to ask.

Scene: The guard-house at Isengard. Merry and Pippin have be reunited with Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli, and some of Farmer Maggot's "special" mushrooms have been found in a forgotten corner of a pack.

Merry: This is great pipeweed, man
Legolas: Does anyone feel hungry?
Gimli: Is the wall supposed to move like that? My father always told me that stone shouldn't bend and turn pink.
Aragorn: Oh, wow: there's this huge butterfly on your head, Leggy.
Merry giggles inanely for a while
Merry: WHAT?! WHO SAID THAT?!
Pippin: Chill out, man. The fear will pass.
Aragorn: 'Safunnything but when you sit in a place like this you wonder, ya know: are we really here? Or are we just made up people in someone else's imagination.
Legolas: That's deep, dude.
Gimli: Yeah, but if we're made up then that man over there with the pipe must be too.
Pippin: Which man?
Gimli: Wearing the funny suit
Pippin: You're seeing things, dude.
Gimli: Oh.
Legolas: I love you guys
Merry: If we're all made up, then none of this is really real! Help! We're all going to DIE!
All: Chill out, man; you're freaking me out.

And so on...

[ August 11, 2002: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]

Kewl! Okay, I'll try to get working on it later, when I have time. Heh, that'd be funny, Squatter! I'd probably be Merry in that scene. lol

Ilúvatar: Of the theme that I have declared to you, I will now that ye make in harmony a Great Music

The Ainur sing the First Harmony.

....But as the theme progressed, it came into the heart of Melkor to interweave matters of his own imagining that were not in accord with the theme of Ilúvatar....

Melkor steps in front of the Ainur.

Melkor: Oops! I did it again, I played with your heart....

LMAO...That I mena those were good.Umm That is about it.


Love Always [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

<Shudder> That was funny and yet disturbing, Manwe

I found a URL that would be good for this thread:
The Lord of the Rings in Lego

Edit: This site has moved, so I updated the URL.

I went on that link and it is HILARIOUS!! whoever did that is really cool.

I went there when I was looking for pictures! Don't ask me why, my mind doesn't like revealing reasons to the rest of me. Ain't it just the spiffiest?

Lol, I've been to that site! And I love it!

I just got this crazy idea...

The Hobbits and Strider are on Weathertop. Frodo wakes up from his sleep to see Sam, Merry, and Strider sitting around a fire.
Frodo: What are you guys doing?
Merry: Tomatoes, nice crispy bacon...
Sam: To-mah-toes?
Merry: You say to-may-to, I say to-mah-to.
Sam: Screw you. Hey... where's Pippin? And where are the rest of the matches?
Everyone looks over to see Pippin standing in front of a huge fire.
Pippin: I have a problem.

lol, hilarious, Robin!