Rip Off!!!!
 

Hehehe. I wanna do I rip off of LotR!! Here's how it goes (the WHOLE thing hopefully) Can be based on the book or the film. I'm gonna do a mixture.

*Bilbo is organising a HUGE party for him and Frodo's birthday*

Gandalf walks up to Bilbo's door and knocks on it.

Bilbo: "No visitors."

Gandalf: "Not even tough wizards who might get angry and set firework butterflies on you?

Bilbo: "Gandalf? Come in!" *mutters* "Wouldn't wanna make him angry."
~~~
Bilbo: "Cup of ale?"
Gandalf: "Oh, yes please!"
*There is a knock on the door*
Bilbo: "Confound these relatives. Never give me a moment of piece. What do you want?"
Voice: "You to hurry up and peg it"
Bilbo: "Sorry, not while I have my pressssssioussssss!"
Voice: "ok, I'll try again tomorrow."
Bilbo: "Sorry, won't be here!"
*person leaves*
Bilbo: "I want to see mountains again, Gandalf. Mountains. Go exploring again."
Gandalf: "So, you intend to go through with your little pathetic, useless, gonna fail plan then?"
Bilbo: "Um.... yes."
Gandalf: "Frodo suspects something."
Bilbo: Well, he would. He's a Baggins, not some Fool of a Took!"
***
You continue the story rip off now!

A thread like this has been done here and here. http://www.smilies.nl/dieren/grommit.gif

Sorry, can't think of ideas for Bilbo's party but I can probably think of some for when Bilbo puts the ring on and disappeares! So I'll let you do the next bit and I'll carry on later!

Love Elalia [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Ok, I'm not gonna be bossed around by moniters! Shadow_Staar told me not to!

besides, those are topics, not forums! I want my own thread for this!!! There's has no order, but this does! I'm trying to get the WHOLE story IN ORDER! Besides LePetitChoux, you're not even a moderater here.... [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img]

Look, I didn't mean in any way to offend you or anything, just pointing out that threads like this one had been done in the past. Sorry for any offence caused!
[img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]

[ January 11, 2003: Message edited by: LePetitChoux ]

Sorry! So. On with the show!

*Bilbo's speach. Look at the original if you don't get this*
Bilbo: "My dear rucksacks and Cleaverhobbits, and my dear Gives and Alebucks, and Maggots, and Slims, and Mouseholeses, and Trumpetblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Badbodies, Brockflats and Disappointedhoofs"
Elderly hobbit: "Disappointedhooves"
Bilbo: "Disappointedhoofs. Also my annoying relatives the Sack-ville-Bagginses that I don't welcome to Bag End. Yesturday was my hundred and eleventh birth: I was eleventy-one! Fortunately I manged to have a good time yestuarday rather than being stuck here with you!"
*cricket, cricket*
Bilbo: "Anyhoo, I hope none of you are having fun because I hate you all!"

Ring bit comes next Elalia!

Bilbo: I have better things to do, I have put this off far too long, I'm happy to announce this is the end of all your whining!
I'm going now, Goodbye!
*GASPS*

BILBO'S HOUSE

Gandalf: I suppose you think that was incredably clever!
Bilbo: Yes, of course I do, did you see their stupid faces!
Gandalf: There are many magic rings in this world and none of them should be used lightly, you could have at least made it look more exciting! Where were the fireworks Bilbo? The Fireworks!
Bilbo: You will keep an eye on Frodo, won't you? I mean, he must have awful hay fever with eyes like that!
Gandalf: Two eyes as often as I can spare them
Bilbo: I'm leaving everything to him *mumbles=exceptmypreciousssss*
Gandalf: What about this ring of yours?
Bilbo: No, no he can't have it! Its mine, my own, my preciousssssssssssssssss!
Gandalf: I think you should leave the ring behind, is that so hard?
Bilbo: Yes! Of course it is! Its a MAGIC RING you know! I'm not exactly going to find another one am I! Sometimes Gandalf, you say the most stupid things! Why should I give it to Frodo? He dosen't deserve it! Who knows what he's been up to with eyes like that! Its mine, my own, my preciousssssssssssss!#
Gandalf: Please stop saying precious like that, its very irritating!
Bilbo: *mumblessomething*
Gandalf: Bilbo Baggins! Do not take me for a conjurer of cheap tricks!
Bilbo thinks: Did he just grow 10 inches? Why has it gone all stormy, did I leave a window open? Oh well, I better give him a cuddle, before he grows 10 more inches!


Thats all I can think of right now, so you can do the next bit!

Love Elalia [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Frodo: Hello? Oh sorry, I'm not meant to be here yet... I'll come back later.
*Bilbo and Gandalf stare at him menacingly. He leaves*
Bilbo: I tried locking it up, but I-
Gandalf: Are we talking about Frodo or the One Ring?
Bilbo: The ring of course, though I did try and lock him up too. I can't rest without the ring in my pocket, and I don't klnow why.
Gandalf: Might it be that you're a possesive fool (of a took) and can't give things up for all the Mithril in middle earth. Rember your last habbit. It took you years to get over it.
Bilbo: I though you said you'd never mention that again!
Gandalf: Oh, I say many things, but I never remeber....

Hehehe!
Good one! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Love Elalia [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Ill continue,

Gandalf: Well just drop the ring on the floor and leave I have things that I must see to.
Bilbo: What things?
Gandalf:Questions. Questions that need answering. Just leave the ring so I can go.
Bilbo: No its mine.
*Gandalf wacks the ring out of his hand and trows Bilbo out of the door*
Gandalf: Hmm he shure has gotten some weight on.
*Frodo comes in*
Frodo:Is Bilbo gone?
Gandalf:Yes
Frodo:Bilbo!!! He is gone hassn't he?
*picks up the ring and walks over to Gandalf*
Gandalf: Yes he has gone to stay with the elves. He has left you everything.
*The scene with the enveloppe follows and Gandalf leaves*

You can carry on from here.

Greetings,

Anuion
________
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GOOD ONE Helka.... Helkahoni... person!

Dear Elentariegreenleaf,

Thank you, and if Helkahothion is a to tyiring name for you to write [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] just call me Anuion

Greetings,

Anuion
________
California Dispensaries

Anuion. Ok. wow, you're on at the same time as me. I was posting in my englsih lesson earlier (instead of doing my eassay!) It's break now. I'll be on at lunch, then after 6.

Frodo: 'Yesssss! Bag End is mine at last!! Wooooo!'

Frodo puts loud music on stereo & dances down the hall in Bad End singing, 'Mine! All mine at last! Sam! Merry! Pippin! Par-tay!!!'

The Hobbit Boys show up with plenty of Ale, Hobbits' Leaf, and Potato Chips.

Meanwhile Gandalf gallops to Minas Tirith, finds scroll, reads it and returns to Bag End. Knocks on door repeatedly, but can't be heard over loud music, laughter and shouting inside. Finally gives up and goes to sleep in the petunia bed.

Inside:
Sam, woozily: 'Mishter Frodo, let'sh move the party to th' inn. It'sh been going on for a week." Gestures and almost falls over. "We're out of food.'

The Hobbit Boys and various Hobbit Girls stumble past the sleeping form of Gandalf and stagger off to the Green Dragon.

Gandalf wakes up, sees open door to darkened Bag End and moves inside to finish nap among ale bottles, empty potato chip bags and the occasional abandoned pipe.

Frodo finally decides to return home. He leaves the Green Dragon and returns to Bag End. He enters and Gandalf scares the bejeebers out of him coming out of the dark.

I'll just continue from there,

Gandalf:Is it secret? is it save?
Frodo:Hick, hello funny man do you want to buy a monkey.
*gandalf raizes his staff and a thunderbolt strikes Frodo. The hobbit is completly sober.
Gandalf:Is it secret? is it save?
Frodo:Yes let me just get it for you.
*Frodo grabbs a painting from the wall and opens the save hidden behind it.*
Frodo:Here you go.
The whole scene with the fire happens and Sam is being draged in.
Gandalf:Samwise Gamgee have you been eaves dropping?
Sam:Yes mister Gandalf and I still am aswel.
*Sam grabs an eav out of his pocket and drop's it.*


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA sorry I just had to put that last part in.

Continue from there.

Greetings,

Anuion
________
Starcraft 2 replays

*Sam grabs an eav out of his pocket and drops it*
Gandalf: Well stop. It's annoying. Besides you and Frodo have to go on a long journey which youre probably going to die on.

Ssam&Frodo: No way!!

Gandalf: Well, what if I give you this super cool chain for your Ring? *takes out chain*

Sam&Frodo: Okay! *Frodo grabs the chain and puts the Ring on it around his neck. Pippin and Merry walk in*

Pippin: Hello *hic* whats uuuuup maaaan?

Merry: Heeeey *hickup* its Gandy! Hey man! I never knew you had a pet Snuffleuppagus! (sp?) *Goes over and pets Frodo on the head* Hey Snuffy! Hows Big Bird?

*Gandalf sighs and makes the other two hobbits sober again.*

Gandalf: Okay, just for that you two are coming also.

Pippin: Right! Where are we going?

Sam: I dunno. We're supposed to go on a really long journey.

Pip&Mer: Okay.

Sam: And we might die.

P&M: Okay.

Sam: Really horrible deaths

P&M: Okay.

Sam: I mean REALLY, REALLY, REALLY horrible deaths.

P&M: Okay.

Sam: I mean REALLY, REALLY, REAL-

Frodo: Enough of that. Be quiet and start packing.

Gandalf: I must go to see the head of my order. He is both wise and powerful.

Frodo: Yeah okay whatever. Bye now.

Gandalf: HMPH! *Stomps out door*

Pretty lame, but ah me! I cant do better!

*when four hobbits meet the elves*
Sam: Whats that Mr. Frodo?
Frodo: I don't know and I don't care! Go back to sleep.
Sam: But I can't! It's elves, Mr Frodo. I want to see them!
Pippin: We're going to Rivendell, what more do you want?
Merry: Here Sam, drink this Ale.
Sam: *gets v. drunk v. quick* Hay! Elves! Wait! *Strips and runs starkers in front of everyone. The evles drop dead at such a horrible sight. They have never seen such a thing!*

Lame.

continuing....
After the elves drop dead, they all fall asleep including Sam, who is still buck nakey in the middle of the road. The Ringwraith comes.
Wraith:Ringggggg....Bagginssssss.....
The Wraith sees Sam.
Wraith:Ahhh.....Myy eyesss are ssssoiled....
Drunkennnnn hobbitssssss....
The Ringwraith gallops off on his horse.
Day comes, and the hobbits all wake up. Including Sam...who is hung over.
Sam: AAAH!! What happened? Where are my clothes? *Sees dead elves* AAH!!! DID I KILL ALL THE ELVES? OH NO! WHAT HAPPENED?
Frodo: Shut up Sam..they're..uh...sleeping. Getting tans.
Sam: Oh okay. *Gets dressed* Well, let's be off then!
A Wraith gallops up.
Wraith: Bagginsss...the ringggg....
Pippin: Wait a minute...you don't come into the book for a few chapters.
Wraith:Ooopss....myy badddd....
The Wraith gallops off again.
Merry: There is a problem Frodo. Where are we going?
Frodo:Uhm..I don't know. Gandalf didn't tell us.
Gandalf suddenly appears in front of them.
Gandalf: Go to the Prancing Pony.
Frodo: Thanks for telling us before, dimwit!
Gandalf: Shut up. I'm going to save your lives in a few chapters so be nice orI'll let you die.
P,M,F,S:Okay.
Gandalf disappears and the hobbits continue to the Prancing Pony.

I can't think of anything to add at the moment, but may I suggest the volume's title?

'The Felonship of the Ring'.

~ Elentari (aka Bekah)

eh? That's my name!

It's mine! They stoles it froms uss...my precioussss....

Seriously, my email address is elentari@xtra.co.nz - Elentari is my name!

Lots of love & God bless,

~ Elentari (aka Bekah)

I don't want to violate Tom, so can we miss him out? If we can, I've got something for when they reach the Prancing Pony. Otherwise I'll just wait.

~ Elentari (aka Bekah)

ARG! MINE! MY OWN! MY PRESIOUS!

Yes. We will skip Tom. But I soooo wanted to make fun of the nakey bit!

'Nakey bit'?

Sorry, you've lost me here...which is actually quite unusual when it's LOTR related...

~ Elentari (it's mine, my preciousss...)

You know, when they get rescued from the Barrow Wight.

~Elentari (mine, keep ya paws off, I was a member here first!)

Gotcha! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Elentari is my name! You had the luck of having it as your public-name because you were a member here first! I, on the other hand, was unable to use this name because somebody had already stolen it!! [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img] [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img]

I think you might be evil... [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

Lots of love anyway and God bless!

~ Elentari (note the name...)

*The hobbits carry on walking without event*
Merry: It would be far more interesting if we went through the old forest.
Pippin: Good original name that!
Frodo: Yes, let's go through the old forest
*They turn around and walk to the old forest*
Pippin: Oooo! It's scary in there! Do we have to go?
Frodo: Well we're here now, so yes.
*They enter the forest*
Sam: I don't think the trees like us being here.
Trees: We certainly don't! You're treading on our feet!
Sam: *Jumps off a tree-root* Oops, sorry.
Pippin: We only want to get through!
Trees: We're not stopping you.
Merry: Yes, why did you say that Pippin?
Pippin: I don't know...
Frodo: Oooh look a stream! Lets follow it into the darkest, most evil part of the wood!
Sam, Merry, Pippin: Alright.
*They follow the stream and finally come across old man willow*
Sam: I feel sleepy.
Pippin: Me too.
*they sit at the base of the willow and fall asleep*
Splash
Frodo: ARG!
Sam: Hmmm?
Frodo: I'm drowning!
Sam: In what?
Frodo: In the river!
Sam: Frodo, stand up.
Frodo: Oh yeah.
Frodo: Stupid tree *kicks the tree*
*high pitched, muffled ow emits from the tree*
Sam: Was that the tree?
Pippin: No, It was me! Can't you see my legs?
Frodo: Ah, I see now.
*pulls the legs*
Pippin: OW! That's not helping
Sam: Merry's trapped too!
Merry: You quick minded little hobbit you!
Frodo: *panics and runs around* Help help!
POP!
*everyone is standing on the other side of the old forest*
Merry: What happened there?
Frodo: Who knows?
*they continue walking towards the Barrow Downs*

AAH! Bekah is my name too except its spelled B-E-C-K-A and its my real name.
thats crazy
aanyways...

*The hobbits continue walking towards the Barrow Downs*
Pippin: What's that?
Sam: I don't know..but it's flying straight towards us!
All: AAH! IT'S A ONE EYED ONE HORNED FLYING PURPLE HOBBIT EATER!! AAAH!!
The hobbits run away back into the Old Forest, right through back to the other side. SOMEHOW (i'm not too sure) they make it to the Prancing Pony.
Frodo: Excuse me...
Butterbur ignores him. Frodo tries again and again but no result. FINALLY...
Frodo: HEY YOU NITWIT DOWN HERE!!!
Butterbur: Yes? How may I help you?
Frodo: Give us some rooms.
Butterbur gives them rooms and they go to eat cheese and drink ale in the bar.

Hah! My Christian name is Rebekah, as in the Bible way of spelling. But my nickname, when I'm not called Elentari, is Bekah. And I couldn't use Rebekah for my name because apparently somebody already has it, so I used Bekah. If anyone spells my name wrong I tend to get a bit annoyed, and people calling me Rachel (starts with 'R' and is in the Old Testament) is a bit old too.

Anyway...may I add a bit just after they spot the 'one-eyed one-horned etc' - they do the actions to that song?

Oh, and before I forget, can somebody please tell me how to edit one of your own messages?

~ Elentari (aka Rebekah, aka Bekah)

Can I do Bree? It might take a little while typing up, but I'd like to do it.

~ Elentari

Arggh! I typed in half my Bree thing and then I lost it! Grr...I hate this computer! [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img] [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img] [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img]

If anyone sees/reads something that sounds extremely similar to this, that'll be 'cos I copied it! [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Okay, here goes...the hobbits in their rooms...

M: Ouch! I swear that roof is only 1 foot 3" off the ground. I'm going to kill that butter person, he said that these were 'nice hobbit holes'! Nice my foot...(continues to grumble under his breath).

P: Stop complaining - did you see those hobbit lasses? Ooo-lala!

S: I think you've had a bit too much to drink, Pipsqueak *outrage expressed from Pippin's corner* - don't you think 10 pints is a little too much for a hobbit of your size?

F: Yeah...there aren't any girls - more's the pity - not even ugly ones!

*A loud knocking at the door*

M, trying to be melodramatic: There's a knocking without!

S&F: Without what?

M: Without a door, idiots!

F: Watch your mouth, young hobbit - I'm 17 yrs older than you!

S, at the same time as F: Let me get this -

*The knocking comes again*

S: - straight: there's a knocking, without a door? Nobody knocks on thin air!

M, ignoring Sam and muttering rebelliously under his breath about Frodo: It shows, too - you can't score half as many chicks!

Impatient, loud voice: Look just open the bloody door will you? It's in the script!

*The hobbits quickly check their script, a book in a red covering*

Hobbits: Yeah, he's right, better open the door etc.

*They open the door*

F: Oh yeah, I forgot, I was supposed to ask you about Gandalf - know where the old bugger is? {sorry for swearing so many times, guys}

B: Nah, haven't seen the old bloke for six months - but you're due in the room, guys, remember? You're supposed to do the thingy with that ring, Lij, and turn invisible.

F, hissing: I'm not Elijah, I'm Frodo, got it? I'm Frodo!

B: Okay, okay, keep your hair on - you might like to know that Strider's been asking about you fellows.

F: Strider?

B: Oh yeah, you haven't met him yet, have you...come on.

F, impatient: You forgot the letter!

B: No, that's when you meet Strider and come up with the old ba***rd {sorry for swearing again}

F: Are you sure?

B: Look, just come on!!!!

F: Okay, okay...

*Hobbits leave*

In the room...

S: I don't think letting Pippen drink any more is a good idea...there's that guy in the green cloak, Frodo, better check him out...

Okay, so this is pretty lame. Maybe it's a rip-off of a rip-off...you know, I read something like this on Sarcasm on Tolkien and it really messed my LOTR up...try having Sam saying things like 'Long live the Revolution' and putting razor-blades in Frodos scrambled eggs...can I do Rivendell? Please? Oh please oh please oh please...

Lots of love to all crazy LOTR fans (I guess that includes me)...and God bless you!

~ Elentari (aka Bekah)

P.S. TTT = The Two Towels (but only in a rip-off like this)

OOH!!! Gollum wants to do a chapter!! (Gollum is what I refer to myself as sometimes...a lot...)

(in the common room)

Merry: Umm...

Sam: Yeah...

(Painful silence)

Pippin: HELLO!! FRODO!!

Frodo: (yawning) What?

Pippin: THE RING THING!!

Frodo: Oh yeah...um, hold on...(searches his pockets for the Ring) A ha!! (puts it on. Nothing happens.) Darn, wrong ring. I'm sure it's in here.......(takes out another ring) Oh, this is it. (puts it on and dissapears) Oh, this is sooo cool!!

Pippin: I want one too...oh yeah...we're supposed to be shocked...

(an hour goes by, and Frodo is still running around invisible)

Strider: Um, guys...I can't be waiting much longer, I'll miss the news. Frodo, really...

Frodo: Fine....meanie. (takes off Ring)

Strider: (growling) Grr...you shouldn't do that, it's bad.

Frodo: Okay. Can we go to my room now? I want the letter, I want to see what it says!!

(everyone goes up to the room, and Butterbur comes in)

Butterbur: For you, Mr. Underhill.

Frodo: (reading out loud) Barnabas....I love you so much, I am thinking of you a lot.....and after we elope and marry--

Butterbur: (blushing, grabs the letter from Frodo) Oh...heh...heh...wrong letter. It's not mine, of course....really!!

Frodo: Of course....(reads Gandalf's letter) Okay....well.... I can't read his writing!!

Merry: He must be a doctor.

Strider: Let's just go to Rivendell, please!!

(everyone): Okay.

Well, Gollum tried to write a chapter....and please, I would really like to do the Council of Elrond (but if someone else is dying to do it more than me, I will *reluctantly* let them do it). Or whoever said they wanted to do Rivendell mean they meant the Council? Oh well...

Split it in half. One half does Many Meetings and the other the council. If you really, really, really want to do Many Meetings you can, but otherwise I'd like to do it.

I'm going to retire for a while.

~ Elentari (aka Bekah)

Oh, that fits perfect....I don't care to do Many Meetings at all, and I wouldn't have done it anyhow....I want to do the Council. Is that okay with you?

Cool! [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]

~ Elentari

Elentari Greenleaf, owing to two stupid mistakes made by me I was unable to reply to your message. However, my Christian name isn't Elentari (though I might consider changing it when I'm older...); my real name is Rebekah. Sorry to have misled you that far.

God bless,

~ Rebekah (alias Elentari)

Cool...my middle name is Rebbecca, but I don't know how to spell it, and I am just guessing on a spelling right now.

Is anyone going to write the part on Weathertop? Make the Nazgul win, and the quest be over, mwahahahahaha!!!! (just kiddding!!)

*They walk through the midge water Marshes*
All of them: Ouch! ow! ooch! Eek!
*They leave the midge water marshes*
Sam: Thank goodness for that!
*Strider leads them to Weathertop*
Strider: This is the watch tower of Amon-Sul
Pippin: What exactly was it watching? There's not anything particularly interesting to watch around here.
Merry: He has a point!
Strider: Yes, they were drunk when they built it, they thought it'd be a laugh.
*They finally reach weathertop*
Strider: I'm going to leave you for no reason what so ever now.
Frodo: Fine with us!
Strider: Before I go, have some weapons which aren't at all useful to you because you have no idea how to use them.
Frodo: Thanks!
*Strider gives them the weapons then leaves*
Pippin: Shall we start a fire?
Frodo: No that would be silly with ringwraiths all around wouldn't it!
Merry: But we're hungry! And Strider said we could!
Sam: No he didn't.
Merry: *Checks script* He's supposed to have said that anyway!
Strider: *pops back in* Before I forget again, you can build a fire if you want!
Merry: *Sticks out his tongue at Sam* Told you so!
*Sam mutters darkly while everyone else sets up a fire and starts eating*
Ringwraith: Sccrreeeeeeccchhh!
Pippin: What was that?
Ringwraith: Scccrrrreeeeeeeeech!
Merry: Sounds like a...
Pippin, Frodo, Merry: RINGWRAITH!
Sam: I was against the fire idea all along, but did you listen? No!
Frodo: Shut up and hurry up! We've got some strangely useful set of stairs to run up.
*They all run up the stairs*

AHAHAHA!!